Dear Diary,

1

Dear Diary,  I feel like I don't have any friends. I know I do but they're all so painfully fake that I don't wanna have anything to do with them. Same goes with my parents, my stepmother is terrible and my stupid dad seems to think she's amazing. I feel like I'm treated differently to all my brothers. Anyway I have to go now, the witch is summoning me. 4:13pm.

I snap my diary shut and chuck it onto my night stand, then proceed to go downstairs to the kitchen, where my stepmother was waiting for me. "You called?" I asked.

"Yes, and lose your attitude please! Anyway we have no carrots, go and get some, there's money in my bag." I nod and and grab some money then head out. Why does she always ask me to do stuff and never any of my brothers?

I finally get home and give my stepmother, Lydia, the vegetables. I waste no time in getting upstairs to my room. I'd say my room is my safe space, where I can go to relax and have no anxiety.

Except when my parents just barge in. Well my step mom does not my dad. He doesn't care. I lay on my bed and grab my phone - which was on my pillow charging - and open Instagram.

My phone was drier than the Sahara desert though. Ugh, I feel so lonely all the time. Like, even though I have family and friends I could talk too, I still feel like none of them would get me.

I even post loads of sad things on my Instagram and no one really cares, no one messages me. Not even my best friend Ally. I'm jolted out of my head when my bedroom door bursts open. It's just my younger brother, Jonathan.

"Natalia do you wanna come play on my PlayStation with me?" He asks, his face full of hope because if I'm honest, I always say no. "Yeah sure, go set it up I'll be right there." I tell him. It'll help take my mind off things.

Later that night

My eyes feel so heavy, it's five in the morning and I'm still awake. This is what happens every night, well not every, but most nights. I have school tomorrow too... or today I should say ha ha.

I've been up on Instagram all night to be honest, when I'm bored or can't sleep I often go onto the explore page and watch make-up videos or satisfying things. It seems to relax me.

I'm dreading tomorrow. I dread everyday, I don't mind being at school but I always hate having to walk home. Most of the time I'll walk very slowly. Even time myself and see how long it'll take me to get home. But I can never take too long because then my parents will get mad and ask where I've been.

I wish I was brave enough to run away. I've planned it out once, there's some woods about fifteen minutes away from my house and I could go there I suppose... but I'm scared of the dark outside, especially being on my own.

I check the time briefly and see it's already 5:55am. Jeez I need to sleep otherwise I'll die at school. I put my phone down and lay down properly, then I allow myself to drift off to sleep.

"Natalia get up!! You're gonna be late for school stupid girl." My step moms harsh voice rings through my head and I wince as I open my eyes and sit up in bed. "What?" I ask, still half asleep. "It's fucking seven O'clock and you have to leave in an hour and a half, up now!"

Why can I never do anything right? I always seem to fuck up, even with the smallest things. I sigh deeply as I swing my legs over the side of my bed. Goosebumps immediately form on them from the cold air.

-

I leave the house last, so I have to lock up before walking to school. I always leave at half past eight because school starts at ten to nine, plus my school is real close to my house, so that's a bonus.

-

Half the day has gone by and it's already lunchtime.  I only have one class left and then I have to go home, I always feel so anxious when I'm at home. To be honest, I wouldn't even call it home because it sure as hell doesn't feel like one.

Later that evening

"Natalia come downstairs please."  my dad calls me from the living room. Fuck what have they found now? I tread lightly down the stairs and sit on the edge of the sofa gingerly. "What's up?" my voice is shaky, I hope they don't notice.

"What's this Natalia?" My step mom holds up my old diary, holding it between her thumb and index finger like it was infected with some sort of nasty disease. "A diary." I reply. Both my dad and Lydia are staring at me, like they're expecting me to reveal a huge secret about it.

Out of nowhere Lydia  pulls out her own notebook, with a page full of bullet pointed sentences. My brows furrow while my brain works to piece together what they've done. "I've written down some points here that stood out to me when I read this." Lydia says harshly. 

"What the hell, are you joking!" I exclaim angrily. "Watch your mouth!" my dad snaps. I scowl at him and then look down at my fingers. "I wouldn't call this a diary to be honest with you Natalia. It's more like a 'I hate Lydia' book." he states.

I don't say anything but instead I just shrug and shake my head, still not looking at either of them. "Will you bloody look at us Nat!? I don't want to talk to the top of your head do I?" Lydia shouts bitterly. I sigh and drag my eyes up to meet theirs.

"'I hate Lydia, she always picks on me for the smallest things, it's like she wants to yell at me all the time.'  that's complete bullshit Natalia and you know it!" my step mom retorts. "Well of course you'd say that.." I mutter under my breath. But of course they hear it. "Don't be so disrespectful, get out of my sight now." 

Tears prick my eyes as they threaten to spill out onto my face, "okay." my voice cracks so I rush to the stairs and speed up them and into my bedroom. I know for sure I'm going to be crying myself to sleep tonight.

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I'm back! I literally haven't written on here for sooo long. But hopefully I can keep up with this book and post a new chapter every week. Let me know what you think about this in the comments. Don't forget to VOTE.