Broken Inside

Harry's POV

It's like always. I am alone, but why should I be sad about this, it's not like I've always been with others. No, it is clear, that I am most of the time on my own. It wasn't always like this, a few years ago I had my band mates and my one best friend. Louis Tomlinson.

But everything changed after he told us about his new girlfriend. Eleanor Calder. She has what I wanted. She is with him. She can cuddle him and kiss him every time she wants to do it. And I? I suffer from being alone, not able to move on.

I am in love with Louis since always and it hurts like hell to see him happy and that I am not the cause of it.

but who am I kidding? I should be okay if he is happy, but I am not. I am selfish and egoistic.

One day, after his two months anniversary with Eleanor, he tweeted the one thing which made me break.

Larry Stylinson is bullshit.

He tweeted and the day was the day I started with self harm. That's what people call it. I am an attention seeker. That's what Niall called it. He doesn't know I do it, but I asked them what they think about cutters. And that is what he answered.

I have no one to talk to and it's driving me crazy. I abandoned myself from the others. I haven't talked to them in weeks. We are having a break and the flat is cold like ice since Louis moved to Eleanor. He left me for her.

Multiple times I thought about ending it, but I am too weak and afraid to end it. But this pain will kill me eventually. I sit in my bed, my phone in my shakey hands, a razor in front of me, suicide notes for everyone next to the razor.

Now, just Louis can save me. It's his last chance to save me. I call him and wait for his answer.

"I have no time Harry, what do you want!"

He snapped and I wince. So it's right.

"I... Louis?"

I hear him breathing in sharply.

"Listen Harry. I am in something at the moment. I'll call you when ever."

With that he hangs up and the line goes dead. He doesn't care a bit about me. Why should he? I am just a worthless faggot who is in his way. Why tried I to call him. I knew it would leave me heart broken.

Why couldn't he break me a bone, I have 206 bones for fucking's sake. No, he had to break my only heart.

I grab the razor and start to cut, cut deep and deeper. With each cut I fall deeper in this lovely camouflage. It's great I guess.

But then my phone starts to ring and I see Liams name. What does he want? To save me, it's too late. But I answer anyway.

"What?"

My voice is weak and cold, it hurts to talk. Just in a whisper.

"Uhm the others are here and yeah uhm. Louis and Eleanor too and Perrie and maybe you want too?"

It's already eleven and they decided to call me now? I feel left out.

"It's too late Liam, I am sorry..."

My voice is soft, but still weak, my strenght leaves me.

"What are you talking about?"

They are so naive.

"Tell Louis, this is his fault."

With that I hang up and fall into concussion.

Goodbye lovely world.