Little White Lies || Cricky [C]

25 | China

We arrived a little while ago, and Chris had left almost immediately. I was waiting here for him to come back. He left me with weapons. It seems he thinks something may happen while he's away.

Ryan had stayed behind too and he was being mean to me. Again. He didn't want me to come here. He says I'm in the way and I'm gonna get us all killed. He said he doesn't understand Chris's infatuation with me, and that I'm just a stupid whore off the streets.

I just ignored him and played on my phone. He's such an asshole. I don't know what I did to piss him off.

"I'm hungry." I told him. 

I glared at me and grabbed Chris's wallet out of his bag. He threw two twenties at me. "Go find food. Leave me the fuck alone."

"Why don't you like me? What did I ever do to you?"

"You're just in the way." He growled. "You're gonna end up like all the others and Chris is gonna be a depressed for a few months before he finds a new one. You're a burden. I can't wait until someone kills you." 

I grabbed the TV remote off the dresser and threw it at him before leaving the hotel room. What a dick.

I don't really think Chris wants me to go out on my own, but if he gets mad, it's Ryan's fault. That's the only reason I actually left. I would've just ordered food, but I knew Chris would be pissed that he let me go out. 

Chris said he didn't want me to get hurt and that's why I couldn't go out on my own. I had my knife though, so I can protect myself if I need to. 

I'm just hungry though. I don't know what I want though. There's a sandwich place across the street from the hotel, and  a  Starbucks down the road. 

I walked down the sidewalk, looking for places to eat. 

After a few blocks, I found a diner that sounded good. I went inside and the woman at the door brought me to a table and gave me a menu.

I looked over the menu, finally deciding on a cheeseburger.

A young girl came over. "Hi, how are you? My name is Mandy and I'll be your server today. Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Uh, a cherry coke, please." I said, smiling at her. 

"Okay! And are you ready to order or do you still need a few minutes?"

"I'm ready."

"Alright, what can I for get you?"

I pointed to the menu. "Can I get the cheeseburger with fries?"

"Of course. How do you want that cooked?"

"Medium." I told her.

"Okay! That'll be out in a few minutes.

I nodded and she left the table.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and opened Candy Crush. Chris showed me this game the other day and it's so fun. 

I sat there and played it until the girl came back with my food and drink. 

"Here you are! Enjoy!"

"Thank you. You too- sorry." 

She laughed. "It's all good."

I internally cringed at myself but began eating. I put my phone back in my pocket. 

The food is actually pretty good. 

I can't stop thinking about what Ryan said earlier, before I left. He said I'd just end up like the others and that Chris will just find a new one. I know he's right, but I don't want to think about it. Someone will kill me, like the others before me. I don't wanna die. Even if Chris isn't the one killing people, it's still dangerous to be with him. 

I thought about all of the things that Ash told me about him. Her best friend died because he dated Chris; well his death was never confirmed, actually. He's still missing. Kuza and Chris told me about Angelo and what happened to him for being with Chris. 

The man that's doing this is sick. He can't just accept the fact that Chris has more power than him. He can't just let Chris be happy. But in a way, Chris is selfish. He wants so badly to have someone, that he just keeps taking people in, knowing that this man is going to end their life. 

Ryan is right. If I die, Chris will replace me. He'll be upset, I believe, but I don't think he'll really grieve. I'm disposable. And in a way, I regret getting with Chris, because I have a very strong feeling that someone will attempt to take my life. 

I'm at a point though, where dying might be my best option. If I'm really a burden like Ryan says, my death will take a weight off of the people in my life. And if I weren't with Chris, I'd be on the streets, and I don't wanna go back there. And I'm sure it can't be much fun to have me living in the house. And if I were gone, Ryan could stop being such a miserable fuck. I'm tired of having sex for money. 

So, I'd take death any day over going back there and fucking every guy who walks past just to get by. 

I finished my food and pushed the plate away. I looked at the clock on the wall. I left about an hour ago. I should be fine. I stood up and put a twenty on the table, leaving the rest for the girl. 

I saw a 7 Eleven on the end of this street I think. I want cigarettes. I haven't been able to smoke in months because I couldn't afford it. But now that I have money, I can get them. 

I walked to the end of the street and turned the corner, stopping in front of the store. I went inside and headed up to the counter. "Hi, can I get a pack of Marlboro Black?"

I grabbed a lighter and placed it on the counter while the man rang me up. I'm surprised they never ID me. I guess I look older than 21. 

"Thank you!" I said, leaving the store and heading back in the direction of the hotel. 

I tapped the bottom of the pack before opening it up and taking one out. I placed it between my lips and cupped my hand around the end as I lit it. 

I inhaled slowly, reveling in the feeling of the nicotine filling my lungs. 

I took my phone out and looked to see if anyone called. 

Thirteen missed calls from Chris. 

Why would he call that many times? 

Did he come back and see that I wasn't there?

I called him back and listened to it ring. 

"Ricky?" He said, sounding out of breath.

"Yeah. Is everything okay? What's wrong?"

"Jesus Christ. Where are you? Tell me right now, I'm coming to get you. What were you thinking? Nothing is okay."

"Rya-"

"Nevermind, tell me later. Just- where are you?"

"I'm outside of the 7 Eleven on-" I looked for the street sign. "The corner of 5th and Chatham."

"Stay right there. I'm coming to get you."

He hung up. He seemed panicked. He was speaking fast and it sounded like he was hyperventilating; almost like he was having a panic attack. 

I stayed where I was. I dropped my cigarette and stomped it out. I lit another one as I stood there and waited. 

It was only a few minutes before I saw Chris's car speeding down the road. He stopped in front of me. I finished smoking and got in his car. 

"You're not hurt, are you?"

He looked pale and it almost looked like he'd been crying.

"No...Chris, what happened?" I asked. "You're scaring me."

"Ryan's dead."

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oof what do y'all think happened??

~xxLux