How It Came To Be// Two Become Three Book 2

P.P.P.

"Hi sweetheart," Joe said softly, closing the door behind him. She looked up and met his eyes, tears welling in them. "It's okay, don't cry, I'm here."

"I feel sick."

Joe nodded and stroked her hair, "it's the medicine."

"I was scared. I woke up and you weren't there, and a man was holding my hand. They said I have post post," she struggled momentarily looking in his eyes for the answer before carrying on, "my brains not right. But Joe you have to tell them I'm okay, I'm fine. My brain is working."

"They want to keep an eye on you love. Plus make you feel better, your body is a little bit poorly at the moment," Joe said softly, sitting next to her.

"That's why I keep being sick?"

"Yeah unfortunately. Do you feel tired, you had a rough night?" Joe asked, she looked shattered and really poorly. As much as he wished she hadn't been admitted to hospital, seeing her in the bed, deluded and confused, reassured him that she was in the right place. That she was the safest she had been in months.

"I did?"

"Yes, they found you at the train station at nearly 3 am," Joe said to her, leaving out all of the details, when he had spoken to the doctor they had told him not to overwhelm her with information, which he was quite relieved by because he wasn't in the mood to relive the worst few hours of his life.

"Oh. I'm not that tired. I've got a sore throat."

Again he nodded, "you've caught a cold. Plus you've been quite poorly according to the doctors, I'm not surprised, did you want to just watch TV?"

She nodded and soon Joe had rigged the out of date TV up so that it was playing Grey's Anatomy. Joe kept his hand in hers, as she watched, lost in the fictional setting that didn't look all that different to the world around them. The quiet allowed Joe a moment or two of reflection. The hours of waiting that ensued once he had called the police were the worst of his life. He wasn't allowed to leave the flat in case she showed up so he spent the majority of the time pacing up and down holding Connie, as Tracey, Graham, Zoe, Georgina, Sandra and 2 police cars searched all around for Louise.

The relief he felt at Christmas was only a third of the relief he felt when the police officer rang him and said they had found her at the train station. An ambulance had taken her to hospital by the time he got there. The police brought him to the station and he found out about the condition they had found her in. She had- to everyone's astonishment- walked 4 and a half miles in barefoot with no coat on. It was still a mystery to everyone why they had found her there but Joe was just relieved that she was safe.

By the time he had got to the hospital, Connie safely in the care of her Auntie Zoe, the psychiatrists at the hospital had already diagnosed her with postpartum psychosis, needing no prior information to work this out. The more Joe told them, the more confident they got in their diagnosis. So far they had given her an anti-psychotic and a hormonal stabilizer. Both of which had calmed down her erratic behaviour but she was still dazed and very confused. They likelihood of her coming home in the next week was slim to none and Joe realised that he was about to become a temporary single parent, as this happened.

"Mr Sugg," a voice broke him from his thoughts. He looked to his left to see Louise had fallen asleep before getting up and following the consultant out of the room.

"We looked for places at the Mother and Baby Unit for Louise and Connie but there's no places meaning she's going to have to remain here and be sectioned for the foreseeable future. We're ever so sorry," he said, touching on a conversation they had had earlier. The plan he and the consultant had discussed would be the possibility of getting Louise transferred to a special psychiatric unit which deals specifically with mothers who had PPP meaning they could remain with their babies. The idea was that it keeps the baby's start as untraumatic as possible because they have their mothers near by- allowing that important bond to be formed. Unfortunately that would not be an option for Joe's girls so he would have to look after Connie and bring her into the hospital every day.

"Thank you for looking," he replied simply, feeling his heart sink for the umpteenth time that day.

"That's okay, I know it's not ideal but we're going to work together to get Louise better as quickly as possible so you can get on with raising Connie together."

Joe nodded and shook his hand, trying to not let the devastation that he felt take over him.

"Joe, let's swap, you need rest and the baby needs someone familiar," Sandra said, as Joe walked into the dressing room.

"Are you sure?"

"She's my daughter, get going, come back tomorrow," she replied, giving him a nudge towards the exit.

Too tired and drained to argue he briefly hugged her before walking out of the hospital towards his car. As he got in he felt the tears well, as he saw one of Connie's car seats in the back. She didn't know it yet, but he life had just changed, and it wasn't for the better.

~~~

Zoe pulled her brother into the tightest hug ever, the second he stepped through the door to the flat. "Mum told me, I'm sorry Joe."

"I need my baby," he said, looking over his sister's shoulder, wanting nothing more than to hold his tiny girl and cry.

"She's in her cot, I'll ge-" she didn't even need to finish, Joe had already let go and rushed though to Louise and Connie's room. There was no hesitation as he picked her up, she was asleep, and drew her closed to his chest.

"Oh Connie," he said, as he started to cry, walking through to the living room where he sat on the rocking chair, still holding her as tight and as close as possible. "Mummy's very poorly. I don't know what that means for us, but I know I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be here forever and ever. You've been dealt crappy cards, you're parents aren't in love and your mummy is struggling to love you- I'm sorry about that. But I promise I'm going to make it less crappy. I promise I'm always going to love you."

Zoe watches from the kitchen, as he alternated from rocking her to holding her tight to his chest. She knew she was watching someone who was so scared by the world. She was watching a man who looked broken himself. But, she also knew she was watching a man who loved his daughter more than anyone else in the entire world. As she washed up Connie's bottles, she saw him change position, as Connie started fussing. She was about to step in, when she saw him rubbing her tummy, surprised when she fell back asleep. Joe had shocked her beyond belief at several points in her life, but nothing had shocked her more than how he had acted in the last 10 months. He had grown up before her very eyes and she was proud of him. So very proud.

His whole family were of him...

and Louise.