Broken heart

Therapy Session

A/N

This is a conversation between you and your therapist. The thereapist's responses will always be in italics

"Did you know when you're drowning you don't actually inhale until right before you black out? The instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding. And when you finally do let it in that's when it finally stops hurting. I'm fine. Yeah aside from the not sleeping, the voices, the constant overwhelming crushing fear that something terrible is about to happen." 

"Its called hypervigilance. The persistent feeling of being under threat."

"It's not just a feeling though, it's like it's a panic attack. Like I can't even breath."

"Like your drowning."

"Yeah."

"So if you're drowning and you're trying to keep your mouth closed until that very last moment. what if you chose to not open your mouth? To not let the water in."

"You do anway it's a reflex."

"But if you hold off until that reflex kicks in, you'd have more time right?"

"Not much time."

"But more time to fight your way to the surface."

"I guess."

"More time to be rescued".

"More time to be in agonizing pain and did you forget the part where it feels like your heads going to exploding". 

"If it's about survival. Isn't a little agony worth it?"

"But what if it just gets worse? What if it's agony now and then it's jut hell later on?" 

"Well that's for you to decide."