Broken heart

Voicemail

Jungkooks POV

I sat on the bed and pressed play-"hey. it's um, it's me. i just wanted to say that i miss you. i got to thinking yesterday and i ran across one of our old pictures and i almost tried to call. obviously, i didn't. so now i'm just leaving this voicemail. i'm still full of questions and i'm not really quite sure if i'll have enough time to ask them. but um,do you ever wonder about me? like the way i wonder about you?

"I do wonder about you, I wonder about you almost everyday" I say to myself with tears streaming down my face.

i wonder if you're alright, but that's not my place anymore. so, i can't ask.
do you even think about what happened and wonder where we would be if it didn't?

"Yes all the time. I reget everything now".

i do.
but that probably make me sound really crazy because i should just let you go, right?

"No, I wish you came back, I wished you fought for me because I was to weak to fight for you like I should have.

i should just drop everything i knew about you and pretend that we never even happened?
pretend i didn't try to approach you and try to build a bond.
that i know i abandoned, but i can't pretend that it didn't happen.
i saw so much going for you, you know?
so much positivity, though you never failed to push me back down.
i'm not blaming you though and of course like every other voicemail i practice in my head this isn't coming out the way i wanted it to.
but i just wanna know?
did you actually care about me?
or was it really just a game?

"Yes, I did care for you and I still do."

like you befriended me and then it actually become legit and things both went wrong in our own lives and then you got stuck with me.
and then you just decided you didn't need or want me anymore and you needed a reason, you needed a reason to hate me so you could shut me out.
then i wouldn't be trying to call you, right?
that's what it was right?
because i meant literally nothing to you.

"No that's not true, not true at all."

and if that's not true show me how it's not true.

"I will I promise."

because something like what we had doesn't just crash and burn after somebody's mistake.
your supposed to grow.
and you never let me grow.
and you're afraid to let that show aren't you?
you're afraid for everyone to know that you were the bad one.
it wasn't just me.
but it's okay.
because one day they'll all know.
we'll just have to wait and see, won't we?
and after a month and a half i found myself calling you memory.
and i never wanted that.
cause i wanted us to last, you know?
i wanted out future.
but you just didn't want that anymore.
but i guess i understand.
and you can call me back if you want.
the number should pop up in your missed called log.
bye".

Y/N's voiced faded and all I could hear was the rapid heartbeat of my own heart.