The One Who Has My Heart

CHAPTER 6: My heart

I don't remember what happened there, all I could remember was darkness, a light flashed before my eyes and then nothing. I woke up I was in a hospital room, the smell of chloride clear in the space, something I was familiarized with already, I spent my whole year here, it was almost like my second home. I slowly opened my eyes, I don't really know how much I was out but I was greeted with my mom and Taemin beside me. My mom was crying, sobbing even, and Taemin had a sad look on his face, looking at her it was almost pity you could see on his face. I tried to move, to get up but there was something wrong, my legs, I couldn't feel my legs. What is happening? I'm scared, what is happening?

"Mom what's wrong?" I rasped out, my voice a bit rusty,

"Why are you crying?" she raised her head and looked at me, she smiled, happy I woke up and she tried to tell me something, but she couldn't, she began to cry again even harder than before. I looked at Taemin, hoping that he would tell me what was wrong, what happened, why are they looking at me with those eyes? Why do I feel pity in them?

"Taemin," I spoke again, this time my voice was closer to normal,

"What's wrong? Did something bad happen?" He avoided my eyes at first, he didn't want to tell me, he tried to avoid it but he knew that I would find out eventually.

"Hyung, your legs, can you feel them?" No! No! No! This can't be! No! I can't feel them at all, no this is not possible, I need them, these are the only thing I have left, these are the only ones that kept me going, I need them to at least achieve my dream, I need them if I want to dance.

With a desperate look on my face, feeling my heart break once more, but this time it wasn't love that broke it, this time it was my fault, this time it was because I was too weak to get up, it was all me again.

"What is this?! I can't feel them," I said, almost crying,

"I can't move them..."

"That's right, you can't feel them, you can't move them, you," Taemin stopped, he started crying too, I was feeling my eyes forming tears too, it was too late, I was really useless now.

"You won't be able to move them again..." Taemin finished what he had to say and then he came next to me, holding my hand, caressing it slowly, trying to make me feel better, but nothing could make this feel better.

This can't be happening, I finally fell in love, I finally found someone, I finally... It was over, I was left without Kyungsoo, I had no love to give, no more dream to achieve, I was now left with nothing, how can I live now?

I am useless, I couldn't save Kyungsoo, I couldn't fulfill my dream I couldn't do anything right, just for once, at least once I want to feel like I did the right thing, that all I went through was worth it.

Then I remembered, maybe there is one thing I could do, Kyungsoo needs a heart, maybe this heart of mine will be good, maybe for once this heart of mine will save someone. If it's possible, if I can, if I can save Kyungsoo, then I will use this heart to do so.

"Take me to Kyungsoo," I said, almost pleading,

"I need to see him, please, take me to him..." Taemin looked at me, trying to say something and as his expression changed I knew it wasn't something good.

"Jongin, about Kyungsoo..." He started, hesitating,

"Kyungsoo woke up," He woke up, I can't believe it, he said Kyungsoo woke up.

"While you were in surgery, but," Taemin went on, there was always that 'but', that word that changed everything good into bad, there always had to be a 'but'.