Tint of the Skies

Chapter 9

As seconds seem to go slower than usual, my heart races against my chest. His lips, softer than they look, mould into mine. They search for forgiveness but I don't give in. He nibbles on my bottom lip and groans slightly, and that's when it hits me. That I was kissing Oscar back. Oh no no no no no.

I pull away hastily, gazing into his fuzzy eyes and smirking face. What an ass. "Why the fuck would you do that?" I spit the moment I pull away, "You enjoyed it, didn't you?" he says lowly. He wants to go there?! "No, my mouth is on fire, I think I'm going to gargle it with bleach right now", I roll my eyes and he says.."Thanks for tonight.." he winks and jumps out the window. I slide against the window pane and cover my face with my hands. "Stupid stupid stupid girl!"

Regrets have been showing my life as blessings. The next day, I walk into school and head to my classes as usual, lunch was fine but something seemed off. Damien wasn't here. As soon as the bell rings three, I pat myself on the back for successfully avoiding Oscar today and rush to greet Damien at his place.

Caleb welcomes me with a fallen face and sad nods as I walk in, questioning what's happened. I knock on Damien's door, just to receive the sound of this, "Stay away Caleb! You wanted me to do this during the party and I refused. Think of this as your return gift. Now leave," he screams.

"Damien.." I barely whisper and push the door open to find the horrors of my life laying right there begging me to turn around and leave.

I find a man who looks oddly familiar to Damien sprawled across his bed with another very naked woman. On the table beside him, a bottle of Jack and several chits of paper containing what looks like "Drugs?! You're doing drugs? What the fuck Damien!" I yell. What the hell is wrong—Oscar. He told him.

"Get out bitch," he screams mockingly in my face. "You're nothing more than a slut to me. Huh, you think I can't enjoy?! Here.. watch this" he says slowly and kisses the girl beside him.

"Why?" I merely whisper my voice cracking as I stand there shattered to my core. Breaking the kiss away abruptly, he laughs and says "Because, kissing Oscar showed me that, that night.. during the party. It all meant nothing to you. All the fun we had. And me? I fucking fought the whole world for you, when he broke you last year. I stood throughout, what did you do? You looked over me like I'm a piece of shit and kissed him." he continues "I wanted to be the one to kiss you Kelis" he says.."I wanted you."

"I'm sorry Damien.. it-it really was an accident. He climbed up the window an-an-and then he tried to apologise and then he—" I ramble defeated before he says "Save the bullshit for another time, I've got things to do" he says and climbs on top of that girl before—

I run out of there. My hands shaking and tears streaming down my face. What have I done? I push through the front door and reach home running. I almost break my bedroom door by slamming the door too hard and scream. In a fury, I drag all my things off my table and take the baseball bat and smash everything in sight. My mind goes fuzzy and I fall to my knees onto the shattered glass, which now was the condition of my heart and cry for what seemed like days. I felt like I was over reacting but, Damien was special..he stood by me when things were rough and now, look at us.

It's been three days since, I saw anyone. I locked myself up and refuse to see anyone or eat anything. Why should I? I don't fucking deserve to live. Death would be the easier option. So, I torture myself. I've been playing with blades since the time I saw Damien. A few cuts here and there don't hurt as much as his words.

A series of knocks startle me as I groan in frustration. "You need to go mom, I said I'm fine.. I'm just not doing too well", I mutter.."Kelis. Open the fucking door", Damien's voice gave me a hint of hope, but tore me apart at the same time. "No," I say stubborn. "I have to see you after.." he says. "But I can't, I shouldn't see you. Please go away from here." I say hoping my voice reaches across the door.
"Fine. I guess I'll have to use the other means." He says and silence fills the air around me again. What's he going to do now? What break the door open?!

I let out a small scream as I hear someone trying to break through the window. Damien. Oh hell no. I jam the window with hands, preventing him to come inside but it's too late anyways as my hands fall weak due to all the cuts. He climbs into my room and searches the place before clutching his hair with his hands and dropping onto the floor.

His panicked eyes land on my arms and he shouts "what the fuck did you do?!..", he yells and grabs my shoulders, shaking me like I'm a doll. I flinch at his touch. I didn't want to feel his touch. I didn't want to break in front of him again.

"Kel—" he begins but I cut him off, "No. I need you to leave. I can't be seeing you right now,"I say sternly. "Like hell I'm leaving you to die alone here." "Damien, you can't just fucking enter my house through the window and not give me space. You didn't even listen to the whole story that day I came to your house. I didn't kiss him. He kissed me, I asked him to get out as soon as he did. I mean, you believed that bullshit he fed you and didn't even consider talking to me once?!" I say my voice raising a little. I don't stop here.."The way I saw you, with the drugs and that girl, I couldn't. I couldn't breathe. I don't deserve to live like this. Better off to di—" he cuts me off by saying "Don't finish that sentence."

"Yeah, and why the hell not? How do I know that you care, do you even remember the things you told me?! Or were you that high to forget? After that, I shouldn't even allow you to be near me—" I say all in a breath, my frustration growing by the second..

"You're right. You shouldn't allow me to be near you but I can't allow you to be near the blade." he says, concern evident in his voice
I scoff at this. "You think the blade makes my life any more important to you. Well then, you're wrong. It doesn't. If you won't leave, I will." I say and walk out.

Damien follows me and I don't say a word. Maybe I want him to see my pain. Maybe I want to hurt him by seeing me hurt myself.

"Please Kel—" he whispers, I interrupt him by turning around and saying, "If you don't remember, I'll remind you.. you call me a bitch and slut. You asked me to leave before y-you.." I pause, "before you-you," I couldn't complete the sentence. I was too afraid of it.

"I'm an asshole. I was high. I called over one of Caleb's girls and.. you know the rest. You don't have to forgive me ever. Don't even consider it. But just please for the love of god, stop hurting yourself." Damien pleads.

"Goddammit, if you want to see me getting hurt because of you. Then fine. See for yourself.." he walks up to my table, carefully picks the blade up and casts me a longing look before..

"Damien! No!" As if on instinct I cover my hand on his and slap him. "Why the fuck would you do something like that?!, I'm sorry!! I'll stop hurting, shit. It's bleeding too much!"

He just smiles.. and hugs me ever so tightly. I fall in his arms and let out a small laugh thinking about how cliche this would be if this were a movie. But life isn't a movie. It's a nightmare. It's a sad life with happy moments.

"I'm sorry Kel. I hurt you. I burned everything. All the drugs and asked Caleb to keep his stash away from me. And as for Maya— the girl I was with, she shifted once I realised what I did." He gazed down at me and says "Promise me, no such thing will ever happen again."

I look over into his eyes and say, "I promise Dam."

———————
Hey guys,
Updates from now on will happen only after 4pm (India time) as I have school. Ugh. Thanks so much for reading this chapter! Don't be shy to ask any questions and share anything you would want.

-Prii