Shipwrecked

Little Loner Misfit

It was in the last few weeks of school that things started going downhill.

It was a normal Wednesday morning and I was to say the least without any exaggeration dying on the inside. Every single day was a struggle, I was struggling to breathe, struggling to stay alive, struggling to stay sane. I was drowning and I honestly didn't know what to do.

........

My Mom raised my sister and I up alone, our dad being the dirtbag that he is left us when I was 2. He sent my mom back to her hometown and country, Italy. As fake and unrealistic as this may sound my father visited us once in my entire life after 14 years of abandonment.

All my life I'd hoped and prayed for my dad to return to us but the moment that he did I prayed he would just disappear. This took place last year and to say that it changed my life and the way I am for good would be an understatement.

Today is my first day of college and to be honest I'm not looking forward to it. I'm as awkward as one can get and as ugly as one could only pray not to be. The odds are not in my favour and I've never hoped that they would be either.

I reach up and pull at the ends of my hair in an effort to tighten up my ponytail. Telling myself that it's going to be okay is an exercise I stopped bothering with a long time ago. If anything ever was to truly be okay I'd have my family with me right now, my mother wouldn't hate me and I would've been brave enough to do what has to be done.

As cryptic and vague as I can get I am also unfortunately blessed with an older sister. One who thought it's wise to accompany me to college on my very first day to quote " help me make friends."

I follow my sister as she walks over to a group of girls that seem to be freshman.

"Hi! Are you a freshman too?" My sister inquires, I at once notice the look of awe on their faces. My sister is one of the most beautiful girls you could only ever dream of encountering. She's confident, beautiful, brave and strong; everything that I'm not.

"Yes!" One of the girls replies excitedly, "I'm Faith, nice to meet you." My first thought while hiding behind my sister, silently observing is of course can this girl get any more annoying? From her gold chain to her short skirt to her annoying accent, she is the definition of everything I despise.

I snort in amusement which finally gets the girls surrounding my sister to notice me as they eye me with curiosity and bare judgement in their eyes. I know what I must look like to them, a puney girl no taller that 5' with an outfit that basically screams loner. Worlds apart from their pretty princesses skirts and dresses, I'm clad in a simple blacktee, black jeans and combat boots. Back home this would've been okay but here in the land of prissy princesses it screams misfit. Everywhere I look all I see is pastel dresses and heels. What have I gotten myself into?

I silently walk away leaving my sister to her new friends, trying to find my way around the campus. I look up in awe at the paintings in the hallway and the beautiful architecture. The ceiling is a beautiful splash of colours, all shades of blues and purples. As I walk I soon find myself on the ground looking up at the ceiling. Knowing how clumsy I am this is no surprise to me. I trip over nothingness only about a couple million times a day. I gather up my things and get up making my way to the main office, silently berating myself and pleading with myself to not fall again. I know that it's a prayer in vain but one can always hope for the best.

I immediately spot the main office at the end of the hallway, the words painted above the glass door in bold, colourful italics. Why is everything so bright? What is this, fairyland?

I pushed open the cold, glass door and strolled in as quietly as possible.

"Good morning! How can I help you?" A voice startled me out of my thoughts. I follow it to the owner of the voice, a petite blonde with dark liner under her lower water line and bright red lipstick, she could not be any older than 30.

"Morning, I'm Melody Williams, here for my schedule and dorm room details," I reply in the sweetest tone that I can muster up, flashing her one of my smiles that no one could say no to.

"Of course, dear," she pulls out a huge stack of papers from one of the drawers and after a few minutes of shuffling she hands me my schedule and dorm room details.

As I stand there looking through the papers I hear the door slam open loudly and the voice of a stranger, "Lisa, how are you, my schedule?" His voice is soft and quiet, every word spoken so slowly that it almost sounds like a song or a poetry.

I walk out without looking up at the owner of the voice bumping into him on my way out.

I could not be bothered with anything or anyone right now. I have only one thing on my mind, one goal and one reason for coming here. To study as hard as possible and get to my dream university.

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