My Scrambled World

HELPLESSNESS

Asslamoalaikum Everyone!
I am back with with this new book.
I am hoping that you will shower the same love like you showed to my other book..

******

The entire class was buzzing with the sound of children gossiping as it was their free period. Some were chatting with each other while a group of boys were playing cricket with their hands. Among them sat a 10-year-old Humaira, in hijab, busy chatting with her friends. Suddenly she shuddered as she felt some touch on her lower back but thinking of it as her imagination, she ignored it. A few minutes later, she again felt the touch of someone’s hand on the very same place but this time little more evident. She shivered in disgust as she felt whole blood drained out of her body. She immediately rose up of from her seat and turned swiftly only to see one of her classmate, Asad there. She felt anger rose within her.
“How dare you touch me and that too not once but twice?” she shouted with all her might making that boy’s eyes widened in shock.
The whole class went silent hearing her shouting.
"Why are you silent now?" Humaira said with the tear of anguish in her eyes looking all defeated.
"Humaira, there is nothing to overreact okay, be calm and don't shout. He might have done it mistakenly." One of her friends said.
Humaira turned to her and said:
"I am overreacting? Didn't you see what he did? Who is he to touch me?" she yelled in despair.
One of the teachers who was teaching in the adjacent class came hearing the loud voices from the class.
"What is happening here?"
"Miss ask him, what is his problem? If he wants me out of this school then I will go away from here." Humaira cried.
"At least tell me what happened? And you don't need to go anywhere."
"Miss, Asad touched Humaira on her back." the other girl said while tears rolled down Humaira’s chin, disappearing in her white scarf.
“Okay... Asad, what kind of manners is this?”
“Miss I am sorry but we very playing truth and dare and I got a dare, so I had touched her slightly but what's the need to overeat so much?” Asad stated in a displeased manner.
“You shouldn't repeat this, okay. And Humaira it is okay, what's the need of all this unnecessary yelling?”
Humaira looked at her teacher shocked. Wasn’t this a matter to be considered?
She was thoroughly disappointed. She bowed her head down to control her increasing sobs.
“See, I know you take a scarf but you all children are brother and sisters to one another. Why are you letting wrong thoughts linger in your mind? Take it easy and relax”
“And Asad, apologize to her now and this shouldn’t be repeated.” The teacher said.
“Sorry!” Asad said to which Humaira only nodded and went back to her seat.
***************

Humaira rang the bell of her house and waited. Her eyes were swelled after lots of crying. A few moments later her mother opened the door and she went in hoping that her mother would ask her the reason for her miserable state. And like always, her mother was not able to see through the agony her daughter was going through. She went straight to the shower and cried wholeheartedly, rubbing her body mercilessly like removing dirt off from her body. After a long smoothening shower, she ate her dinner went to her bed silently.
As soon as she hit the bed, she again started crying, thinking of the incident happened a few hours back. She can’t deny that she somewhere overreacted but what can she do? She is living her life in constant fear. Every day, the pain and hurt are tearing her heart slowly yet painfully. The pain of being exposed to this dirty world so early, when it was her age to play outside. And how mercilessly she was dragged outside form the fairyland. She just couldn’t help but cry on her lost childhood. The truth is so heart wrenching and unbearable. The truth that she was harassed and molested at the age of nine; not once, not twice but for whole continuous 6-months, in her own sweet home.
She whimpered as all her helplessness came in front of her. The helplessness of not being able to say a word to her mother. The guilt and anger of not taking action against that perverted man who was the sole reason for this misery. Her defenceless state in front of the fear of being touched. All she can hope that one-day her fear and misery will come to an end and she will be able to live a life free from any fear and guilt.The entire class was buzzing with the sound of children gossiping as it was their free period. Some were chatting with each other while a group of boys were playing cricket with their hands. Among them sat a 10-year-old Humaira, in hijab, busy chatting with her friends. Suddenly she shuddered as she felt some touch on her lower back but thinking of it as her imagination, she ignored it. A few minutes later, she again felt the touch of someone’s hand on the very same place but this time little more evident. She shivered in disgust as she felt whole blood drained out of her body. She immediately rose up of from her seat and turned swiftly only to see one of her classmate, Asad there. She felt anger rose within her.
“How dare you touch me and that too not once but twice?” she shouted with all her might making that boy’s eyes widened in shock.
The whole class went silent hearing her shouting.
"Why are you silent now?" Humaira said with the tear of anguish in her eyes looking all defeated.
"Humaira, there is nothing to overreact okay, be calm and don't shout. He might have done it mistakenly." One of her friends said.
Humaira turned to her and said:
"I am overreacting? Didn't you see what he did? Who is he to touch me?" she yelled in despair.
One of the teachers who was teaching in the adjacent class came hearing the loud voices from the class.
"What is happening here?"
"Miss ask him, what is his problem? If he wants me out of this school then I will go away from here." Humaira cried.
"At least tell me what happened? And you don't need to go anywhere."
"Miss, Asad touched Humaira on her back." the other girl said while tears rolled down Humaira’s chin, disappearing in her white scarf.
“Okay... Asad, what kind of manners is this?”
“Miss I am sorry but we very playing truth and dare and I got a dare, so I had touched her slightly but what's the need to overeat so much?” Asad stated in a displeased manner.
“You shouldn't repeat this, okay. And Humaira it is okay, what's the need of all this unnecessary yelling?”
Humaira looked at her teacher shocked. Wasn’t this a matter to be considered?
She was thoroughly disappointed. She bowed her head down to control her increasing sobs.
“See, I know you take a scarf but you all children are brother and sisters to one another. Why are you letting wrong thoughts linger in your mind? Take it easy and relax”
“And Asad, apologize to her now and this shouldn’t be repeated.” The teacher said.
“Sorry!” Asad said to which Humaira only nodded and went back to her seat.

***************

Humaira rang the bell of her house and waited. Her eyes were swelled after lots of crying. A few moments later her mother opened the door and she went in hoping that her mother would ask her the reason for her miserable state. And like always, her mother was not able to see through the agony her daughter was going through. She went straight to the shower and cried wholeheartedly, rubbing her body mercilessly like removing dirt off from her body. After a long smoothening shower, she ate her dinner went to her bed silently.
As soon as she hit the bed, she again started crying, thinking of the incident happened a few hours back. She can’t deny that she somewhere overreacted but what can she do? She is living her life in constant fear. Every day, the pain and hurt are tearing her heart slowly yet painfully. The pain of being exposed to this dirty world so early, when it was her age to play outside. And how mercilessly she was dragged outside form the fairyland. She just couldn’t help but cry on her lost childhood. The truth is so heart wrenching and unbearable. The truth that she was harassed and molested at the age of nine; not once, not twice but for whole continuous 6-months, in her own sweet home.
She whimpered as all her helplessness came in front of her. The helplessness of not being able to say a word to her mother. The guilt and anger of not taking action against that perverted man who was the sole reason for this misery. Her defenceless state in front of the fear of being touched. All she can hope that one-day her fear and misery will come to an end and she will be able to live a life free from any fear and guilt.