Kim Seokjin's secret note
5th page, year 20XX
The letter you gave me was neatly folded into my pocket as I talked to people who knows you, asking if where did you moved and all of them just answered me'She hasn't gone to school after holidays'.
Why did you lied to me? You haven't gone to school after that night, yet you keep telling me that school was okay, that you were okay. You could've just told me.
I've looked for you for months, I didn't give up. I asked anyone whom I think knows you, even if the possibility of them knowing where you are is beyond negative. But after months of searching for you, finally, someone knew where you are.
I remembered I was sitting at the last corner of the coffee shop where we used to hang out when we were highschool. I still loved black Americano but at that time I ordered a Creamy latte, The one that you always loved to drink, The one that always gives you a heavenly satisfaction of your caffeine craving and how you always love to tell the one who takes your order to engrave your name in the cup with the name Amber.
Amber. That wasn't really your name. I named you that after our friendship had come to 3rd month. It was 3 months since we became friends and that's also the time when I have seen something more fascinating in your beauty.
We were walking together under the sun that is almost setting down, you were walking a little bit ahead of me and you are leaping again, Humming a melody that I couldn't figure out in which song is it or maybe you're just humming stuff.
Your hair was swaying from left to right and there's me, looking at your back with a smile on my face. I find you adorable back then, you're not afraid to show your childish part on me and I find it very cute. And when you stopped at the middle of the road, your face turn to look up the sky, I walked beside you and looked at you. I only planned to ask you why did you stopped but as I looked at you, My mind stopped circulating thoughts as my heart skipped a beat.
Your hazelnut eyes turns magically light like it was mixed with a perfect color of yellow, It almost convinced me that you were a fairy. Your eyes are magical and the way your fair complexion skin looks more soft under the light amber sky as the sun starts to set, it gave my stomach an unexplained rumbling noise. Was I hungry? No, It was the butterflies that wildly flying inside.
You are so beautiful, that's how I called you Amber.
Since that day, you always ask me why am I calling you Amber and I always laugh at you when you can't get the information out of me on why am I calling you that.
That's the reason why I called you that but I couldn't tell you back then because I'm afraid of two things;
first, I'm afraid that you might stay away from me.
second, I'm afraid that if I tell you that you will just reject that reason and our friendship may lead to end.
And I don't want that to happen, I can't let that happen. So, instead I just told you that that was my pet's name who died when I was younger. And I was taken a back on how you sobbed in tears about the story on how my dog died, I didn't know back then that you have a very soft spot for dogs. And I wasn't even telling you the truth.
I don't have a dog that I named amber.
I waited at that coffee shop for him to meet me, and it wasn't long enough when he arrived with his coat wrapped in his clothed body and his arms crossing tightly. It was cold outside and the sky was gloomy.
His name was Namjoon. He told me that he met you when you were on the moment of downfall, He saw you crying at this very corner of the coffee shop while looking at your coffee, tear drops falling to your coffee giving it a little ripples.
He asked you back then if what's wrong and you just answered your coffee was bitter. You ordered a black Americano and you tried it, ended up crying on it because it taste bitter. But was that really the reason? Are you thinking of me that time? Does that coffee reminds you of me?.
He was smiling while he's telling me about you. The glimpse of sparkles in his eyes every time he talks about how you make him happy and his dimple is showing throughout the whole story, The story about you that I haven't seen.
Throughout the years that I haven't been with you had changed a lot, You even get to make someone so happy just by thinking of you. I can see from the way he smile and the way his eyes glisten that he was so colorful, too colorful to make you that happy.
He gave you many color the same way as you gave him colors too. Not like me, I only gave you two.
Blue.
Sadness. When I left and you keep waiting for me for too long.
Grey
Brokenness. When you need me the most and I wasn't there to comfort you.
The negative out of that colors. He was colorful and I was not, it's like he was fire and I was Ice.
I can't help but to feel jealous on the way he looks when it comes to talking about you. If only I was brave enough to stay by your side, If only I was too mature to handle everything back then, If only I hold on to your pleading eyes that night and stayed with you. I wouldn't have wished to be him right now.
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Fanfiction"It was you whom I've dreamed of, and how stupid of me that I didn't pursue you." - written by someone who is regretting. Seokjin. seokjinxreader au NO SMUT| ANGST AU