Kim Seokjin's secret note
3rd page, year 20XXI promise to fill out this notebook about how I really feel about you. But as I finished filling the 2nd paper, I promised myself to stop.
But my mind can't stop reminiscing the memories of you and me back then. I promise not to write anymore because my hands are tired and I don't think I can write another word, but minds made to control Everything and to that, it keeps me on writing.
So, here I am, on the third paper of this notebook writing about you again.
The rain was falling as we talked. You keep blurting out words at me and I casually answering you with jokes, but I remembered how you were caught off guard as the word 'I'm sorry' falls out of my mouth.
I don't say sorry or at least I do but it's never sincere, but that sorry was different. Sincere, truly sincere.
A month after our roller coaster interactions, we became friends. Me, passing by your room as you take a fast glance at me and I make a funny face which you turn it back with a giggle, Us going to a coffee shop after school and how you hated black Americano that I always order.
It's too bitter. The scent says it all
You commented as your fingers pinching your nose with your eyes scrunching in disgust. I let out a low laugh, I mean I can't blame you. You always go for a creamy latte or a whipped cream cappuccino, you are a light coffee drinker just like you light and beautiful.
It took us two months more to be more than friends, I mean we became best of friends. We are almost inseparable, we take turns around the campus together and even spending time on weekends. I never thought I could be this attached to you that I never realized I have grown true feelings already.
You were fifteen. Yes, You said you're the oldest in your batch because of your study problems when you started to turn thirteen. Your mom and your dad keeps on changing places because of their works and you, as their only child, you have no choice but to adjust and go with them.
You've been trying to go for regular schooling but you ended up home school at the middle of that year. Then another year comes and you are in a foreign place again, new faces of people and new sight to see. You again, Started off as a freshmen over that foreign place but still you stopped.
And now, You got fed up and told them that you are done with studying, that's when they settled in into this small City where they promised you that you'll be staying here for a long time. And there, You really did stay for long. You told me that at the night of saturday, two months and two weeks since our friendship had grown.
But that changed everything when our 6th month came. My feelings for you just got deeper to the point where I was starting to avoid you, or at least I'm still going to school with you but I became a little more distant. I mean, You were only fifteen and I am two years before I get to the age of twenty.
I didn't know back then if you realized something was off since all I can see in your face is still a genuine happiness everytime you're with me. Your smile, That laugh, Your hazelnut eyes that beautifully shines everytime the sunlight hits it, it was magical. And it made my heart paced uncontrollably, and it scares me but It makes me happy at the same time.
I kept on being your bestfriend, Your compass when you seem lost at things, and I also became your clown when your day is gloomy. I became all of the things that could make you happy, I want to see that smile everyday but it keeps fading as the day goes by.
It has been two weeks since we last celebrated our 6th month of friendship and we became more closer. You became more open to me and I started to be open to you
'thank you for trusting me.' You said. your voice was soothing, it was soft and feminine and it made me feel someone finally cared.
But what keeps me wondering is your smile, why is it fading? I don't like the smile you're giving to me that time. It was more like fabricated, fake.
I wanted to ask you what's wrong but my mouth can't seem to free that words from the inside, so i keep quiet and instead, I continue to comfort you with silly stories, my Lame dad joke in which it made you smile or laugh, at least for that moment. But was it still real?
Friday night on the same week, became the most unwanted part day of my entire life. My father, wants me to move to the states with him, Where I'd still continue my remaining classes over there but homeschooled.
And it was raining heavily when I was in front of your door step, you in your night pajama looking at me with full of curiosity.
Seokjin-ah, what are you doing here?
You asked me with your tired voice and you yawning after. I didn't answer for a moment and Just stared at you. I took a good look of your face, your beautiful face. Your eyes staring back at me with confusion but you still stayed in front of me, silent but your eyes questions me if what's wrong.
I didn't even realized that a tear escaped from my eyes and my heart clenched a little at the fact that I'm going to decide something big, 'I need to tell you something' was the words that escaped from my mouth and you took a step closer to me, closing the door behind you and you looked back at me again, confused but still triggered to know what is it.
and I know that night, I might break a piece of your heart.
YOU ARE READING
You »k.sj« [COMPLETED]✓
Fanfic"It was you whom I've dreamed of, and how stupid of me that I didn't pursue you." - written by someone who is regretting. Seokjin. seokjinxreader au NO SMUT| ANGST AU