I Run to You

Prologue: Seven Years Ago, Staten Island

I pedal my bike down my street and wave at Carasi, who waits on my porch. His police cruiser sits parked in my driveway.I abandon the bike in the garage and pull my helmet off depositing it, and my backpack, at our feet before I take a seat beside him.

He's as handsome as ever, his pale green eyes oddly matching the blue of his uniform.. He stretches out his long legs, and I tuck my own under me. He's quite today, well...quieter than usual. He's been my neighbor ever since my family moved to Staten Island, and my best friend all through the years. Graduation for me was a exactly a month away. I lean my head on his shoulder and breathe in his scent. He smells of fresh laundry, sunscreen and autumn. I probably smell like burger and fries from the burger place I work at.

"I am so tired today, some guy ordered fifty Hawaiian burgers from The Shack. Fifty!" I say leaning away and shaking my hair out of it's bun, attempting to start a conversation. When he doesn't say anything I regard him silently. Worry blurs my thoughts and I wonder if Bella, Gina and Teresa are okay. I am about to ask about his sisters when he throws an envelope onto my lap.

I look from the envelope to him, and back down to the envelope. The navy blue and golden letters catch my attention. UC Davis.

"That came in the mail for you today." He states coldly and I stare at him confused.

" You opened my correspondence?" I ask incredulous, what has gotten into him. He is always going on and on about the law and transgressions.

" Why didn't you tell me you were applying to California?" He looks at me, his green eyes regarding me closely. I recognize that look, he's looking for a tell, he's expecting a lie.

"I didn't even think I'd get in." I answer in all honesty. I look down at the envelope and slip the letter out. I am literally holding my future in my hands.

" You were accepted on a full scholarship." He responds looking away.

I stare at him my mouth falling open. I don't know if it's from the shock of the news, or because I am pissed he robbed me of the moment. All I know is that, this is not how I imagined opening my college acceptance letter.

" Oh my God!" I rip the page open. I scan the letter," Oh my God, Oh my God, I can not believe this!" I scream.

"You don't have to rub it in." He says, his face is twisted into something ugly... hate. My smile slips and dread fills my stomach.

I sit there utterly confused." We can still stay together, or we can leave just like we always---"

He jumps to his feet furious, " I am not leaving my sisters!" he yells and I freeze. This is unbelievable.

" I'm not asking you to." I respond staring at him like he is crazy. Carisi is the reason his family is still together, the older brother to three younger girls, and I understand that. I understand his sacrifices, all of them. The ones he makes in and out of uniform.

" Yeah, you kinda are." He spits out. I stand and stare at him arms crossed. He towers above me, green eyes practically popping out of his eye-sockets.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I spit back out."Why can't you just be happy for me? You said you'd support me!" I yell frustrated. He doesn't answer, he merely regards me with cold eyes that I hate. I can hear the television's volume inside the house lower, but I don't care.

" I won't wait for you Risa." He states, I am at a loss of what to say.

"If you leave, I don't ever want to see you again." He says with a shrug. In that moment I don't know if I want to yell, or laugh or cry. I knew this was too good to be true. My granddaddy warned me not to date a cop. Carisi was a good couple of years older than I, already a rookie cop and I, barely weeks from having graduated high school.

" FUCK YOU ! " I shriek, I throw my helmet and it hits his shoulder. He knew what this opportunity meant to me. He knew this was the only way I would be able to buy my freedom. This is my only opportunity to escape being married off. But what did I expect, at the end of the day he is a man, just like the rest of them.

" You are just like the rest of them!You never wanted to see me succeed." I can't help the sob that escapes. This is not happening. I can hear the screen door behind me open, but I am too far gone to care.

"I can't believe you are doing this to me. YOU! Out of anyone, why YOU?! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HAVE WORKED FOR THIS?!" I scream.

When he says nothing, I push past my parents and into the house, I can't bring myself to throw the acceptance letter into the garbage can. It means too much, and despite everything that just happened. I feel relief and I feel hope.

I won't stay.

By August I am on a flight with a one way ticket to California...but I knew someday I'd be back.