Fear Me P.JM

Chapter Three: A six year old's memory

[Jimin's flash back]

Flash!

"Okay, now please look this way..."

Flash!

"Beautiful!"

Flash!

Appa is working today like he always does. He's a model! I get to come with him sometimes when eomma goes traveling for work. And if I don't get into any trouble, appa says we can go to the park after he's done.

"Can someone fix his hair?" the photographer calls out.

The camera guy says that a lot. Actually, every time after he talks, there are always a lot of people that rush in and start doing stuff around appa.

I want to do that. What appa does. The nice people give you free food, too! And you get to sit a lot and do nothing. Whatever the camera man says, you just do. It looks like fun! Like Simon Says.

"Well aren't you a cute one!"

I turn and a really tall lady bends down and rubs my head. I smile widely. A lot of people say that! And I always like it.

The lady laughs gently. She puts both hands on my shoulders. "Why don't you try modeling?"

"I want to one day!" I tell her with a jump.

She laughs again and then looks at me closely. "You have really good skin for such a little one!"

I grin again. I put my hands behind my back and start rocking on my heels.

"Oh, but you'll have to stand still if you want to model," says the lady.

I immediately stop. My smile disappears and my normal expression returns.

"Oh, much better!" the lady suddenly says. "You have such an innocent look with those beautiful brown eyes!"

I nod.

"Come," says the lady and I let her take my hand.

We walk up to the cameraman and she starts talking really fast. I look around and everyone is looking at me. My Appa comes over and picks me up. I start giggling.

"What are you doing over here?" he says with a large smile.

"I'm going to model!" I tell him and I raise my hands into the air.

The lady who took me over finishes talking and before I know it, Appa has put me down in the middle of all these lights!

I look around. It's really big...and really bright.

"Look over here!" the cameraman says calmly.

I look over and stare into the wide lens. So big...

Flash!

"Look that way," says the cameraman and he points to the left.

Flash!

I start giggling. This is fun!

Flash!

I start running around and laughing now. I pose for the camera with a Bruce Lee pose. He's really cool. But there are no more flashes.

My smile fades and I begin to walk towards the cameraman.

Flash!

Huh?

Flash!

My appa suddenly scoops me up again.

"That was really good!" he tells me happily. "Did you like it?"

But they only wanted me to stare at the camera.

"Jimin is very cute," says a man much shorter than Appa. "You have the perfect expression for the camera."

I start grinning.

"No, no," the man says poking my cheeks. I try to brush him off.

"Yes! Like that," he says again. "A neutral face. When you laugh, all your features are scrunched up!"

I nod.

"Appa has to get back to work now," my appa says and he puts me back down on the ground. I begin to smile again, but I stop myself.

Appa looks at me, pokes me in the stomach and starts tickling me. "Make sure you smile! You're not in front of a camera right now."

He's right! I laugh loudly.

Half an hour later I'm sitting by myself at the back of the room. My legs swing back and forth. I'm bored.

The lady from before comes back up to me. "Jimin! Are you bored?"

I nod. "Will you play with me?"

The lady smiles and laughs, but she shakes her head. "No, I...I have to do a lot of work...but you're cute!"

She stands back up and walks away. I watch her join a group of tall people and start talking.

I jump off my chair and begin wandering around.

"Will you play with me?" I ask a man kneeling down to tie his shoe.

"Oh!" he says startled. "Well...um, I can't..." he tells me. "But you're super cute! I bet you can find someone to play with!"

I nod and go around asking the same question. But...

"I have to finish setting up this set, you see...but has anyone told you you're really cute?"

"Awww, you're a darling and really very cute. But I can't...I have my hands full at the moment..."

"You look like a doll! So cute! But I have to do other things right now..."

I go back to my seat and sit after a while. I look around at the people I asked, but they don't look like their working. Even appa looks like he's cleaning his face now.

Why won't anyone play with me? They always tell me I'm cute.

They tell me I should model because I'm cute.

They tell me I will grow up to be good-looking because I'm cute.

And wherever I go, everyone tells me I'm really cute!

But no one ever stays long enough to play with me.

Later, when appa and I are walking to the park, I decide something.

"Appa," I say pulling on the hand I'm holding.

"Hm?"

"I don't want to model."

There's a light laugh. "Why?"

I look ahead where the park is. "Because I'll stay cute! If I stay cute, no one will want to play with me. They'll only want to watch me stare wherever they point."

Appa is quiet for a moment. Then he starts laughing.

"If that's what you want, it's fine with me. But you're going to find out one day that being cute is not going to be your problem."

"No?" I say, scared. "Then what?"

Appa smiles a little. "You'll see."