Day Five

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Hope you enjoy what remains of the weekend. ☺️
Credits due to Pascal Campion Art for the header pic. Thank you Sir. 😊❤️
Fiction.
Disclaimer: All and fully disclaimed.

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I stared at her sleeping face, my mind going a mile a minute, trying desperately to come up with whatever plausible excuse I can to make her stay with me, in my arms, safe in our haven here by the beach.

Tonight was our last night together, tomorrow we head back to the city to face reality once more. Dread crawled across my skin, my heart felt like it was being crushed slowly and ever so painfully. Since that night full of turmoil and heartaches, we both made the conscious decision not to speak of what was to come again and instead make our last remaining days together happy and peaceful.

Last remaining days together. Last remaining days.. last.. together.. just the thought made bile rise up my throat. How was it possible for Maine and I to even come to that end? To actually say the words goodbye and mean it, for me to wake up and know she won't be there to smile, to laugh, to bring life into my days, to bring color into my world and love into my life.. the prospect of such a future made me want to drop every pretense of bravery and scream no all the while kicking and screaming.

The agony of resignation to our fates made the dull ache in my heart hurt even more. I tried every avenue I could to convince her to stay. She won't hear any of it. I even accused her of doing it just to spite me, just to get back at me for making her wait all these years. The look on her face made me pause, made me want to swallow back every word I said to ease her pain.

"I'd rather you think that of me Alden, I'd rather you hate me and still live your life to the fullest than have you pine for me and slowly deteriorate. Yes, if that's what you want to think.. then yes, I'm doing this to spite you.. hate me now.."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, I grabbed her hand and held on to her tightly, afraid if I didn't she'd vanish in front of my very eyes. "I could never hate you." I whispered gutturally. "Never."

"I hate this as much as you do Alden. I don't want to go.. but I have to.. "

"We can live in New York, I love winters anyway. I swear. As long as you keep me warm, I'll be happy."

"Alden.."

"No listen to me! If you want we can bring your parents back here, we can set up a business for them, or.. or find your father a high ranking position. I have lots of influence and friends. Anything.. just.."

"Please.. " This time she was crying again. Silent tears that I knew would never cease. "I have to.. "

"There's something else you're not telling me.. there's something.. I'm doing everything I can to convince you to stay, I'm promising you the world at your feet and you're still.. why?"

"I--I just can't.. you can't.. no.. I can't tell you.. Alden, when I go away, promise me one thing?"

I refused to speak, turned my head away so as not to look at her. But her gentle fingers brought turned my face to her. "Be happy. Promise me you'd be happy."

That was two nights ago, and now here we were in each others arms once more, finding strength in one another, yet fully cognizant of the fact that we were each others downfall as well.

How exactly does a person go about forgetting his only salvation? That's what Maine is to me. Salvation. Salvation from a life full of cynicism, loneliness and maybe bitterness.

I sighed and closed my eyes. There will be no hope for me if she left.
I will be forever doomed.
I will give up everything I have for her. Everything.

If anyone is listening, anyone out there, anyone, anyone.. please help me.
Please please please help me.
Please please please dear God help me.

*******ALDUBPARIN****************
Non-proofread.
Non-beta'ed.
FICTION.
Disclaimer: Fully and all disclaimed.
Thank you for reading. 😊❤️

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