Falling Inside The Black~It Chapter 2

Reunion/Couldn't Cut It/Premonition

      I opened my eyes, surprised to find myself on my couch, and coughed a bit, before slowly sitting up. I slowly stood, and walked upstairs, pulling open my top dresser drawer. I withdrew a large bottle of whiskey, unscrewed the lid, tossed it on the floor, and downed the bottle as fast as I could. I jumped slightly, as my phone began ringing, and frowned, recognizing the area code of the number as coming from Derry. I hesitantly clicked Accept, and asked, "Hello?" A deep male voice said, "Hey, Liv. It's me..Mike Hanlon." Memories flooded my brain, and I sat down on my bed. He asked, "Liv?", and I replied, "Yeah.. I'm still here, Mike." He told me, "I came to your house to see you, and found you on the floor. Sorry I couldn't stay, but I had to call the others. Come to the Jade of The Orient Chinese restaurant at eight o clock tonight. Can you do that?" I closed my eyes, not feeling like going anywhere or doing anything at all, but muttered, "Yeah.. I'll be there." He hesitated for a minute, then told me, "I'm sorry about your kid, Liv. I just heard about it this morning. I can't imagine what you're going through, but we need you." I nodded silently, and hung up, before he could say anymore. I looked down at myself, and sighed. Dry blood caked my skin, and bruises and cuts covered my skin underneath the blood. I hesitated, heading towards the bathroom, then decided on a sponge bath. I winced, cleaning myself off with a warm, wet rag, then bandaged the deepest cuts, and tugged on a long sleeved plaid shirt and blue jeans, before grabbing my depression medicine out of the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, and taking them, not caring if they'd mix well with the whiskey or not at that point.

    I sat on my bed for awhile, looking through different photo albums and boxes I'd collected over the years, and closed my eyes, tears sliding down my face, as I looked at pictures of Jacob and Liam. I didn't help myself any, as I slammed that photo album shut, because the next one I grabbed contained photos of Beverly and me. I kept seeming to have bad luck, as the next box I touched held my wedding ring. I picked it up with shaking fingers, and swallowed hard, before sliding it onto my finger. I might not be married to Beverly anymore, but the ring reminded me that I was once loved, and that I'd actually helped save people. I was surprised that it actually still fit, but I shrugged, and sighed, standing up. I began pacing around the room, knowing I should go to work, or go out of the house, because sitting there alone was killing me, drowning me with the pain and thoughts of how I could have saved my son, or how Liam was right, and no one could ever love me. Mike said he needed me, but I doubted that. After all, in twenty seven years, even after twenty years of living in the same town as him, he'd never bothered to call or visit until that point. None of them had..

    My brain kept feeding me those thoughts, as I paced, and I ignored my phone, as it rang and rang. The first few calls were Liam, but the next few were Beverly, and she was probably calling to find out what I'd wanted, or to make sure I was coming to the restaurant. I couldn't deal with answering her right then, and I finally couldn't stand my own company either, so I left the house, and walked through town, ignoring all the stares and sympathetic looks I was receiving from all of my neighbors. Even at the age of forty one, everyone treated me like a child, a fragile, broken thing, and they were right. I walked around for hours, and then, when it rolled around to about eight thirty, and after around five million calls from Mike, I began heading for the restaurant. I dug into my jacket pockets, withdrawing a lighter and pack of cigarettes, and lit one up, inhaling deeply, then blew out the smoke, closing my eyes. Just like it used to, the taste of nicotine calmed my nerves a bit, and helped me slam the emotional wall I'd built up, keeping all the shattered glass that was my emotions behind it, so I could look and act stronger than I felt. I stopped outside the entrance to the restaurant, and finished my cigarette, squashing it out under my shoe, and slowly went inside.

    The lady at the sign in desk asked, "How may I help you?" I told her, "Uh, my friends are supposed to be here. Probably registered under Hanlon?" She nodded, and pointed me in the right direction, and I took another deep breath, before walking to the private room. I stopped by a fish tank, shoving my hands into my jeans pockets, and the conversation stopped, as I leaned against the wall. Six pairs of eyes turned to me, widening, and I smiled slightly. A guy with short, thinning hair and glasses said, "Holy shit. Is that-" A handsome, muscular guy with a beard and mustache said, "Liv.." A skinny, frail looking guy with short hair said, "Whatever water she's drinking, I need some. Must be some healthy ass minerals in it." A medium built man with short, brown hair, and a small mustache and five o clock shadow smiled at me, and said, "You look great, Liv." I slowly pieced together who was who, considering Mike was easy to spot, and I already knew what Beverly looked like. I told them, "Hey, guys. Been a long time. Bet you don't really remember me, huh?" Bev's eyes fell, and I pulled up a chair beside her, sitting down. I acted like I didn't care that she was that close, but it hurt deep inside of me to be there. I was certain that both of our actions didn't go unnoticed, as Bill's eyes locked on my wedding ring, and something like both pain and understanding clouded his eyes. It was soon gone, though, as Richie spoke up, "Wow, that's definitely Liv. You can tell by her resting bitch face." I couldn't help myself, really laughing for the first time in a long time, and replied, "Shut it, Trashmouth." He grinned at me, and before I knew it, we were all clinking glasses of liquor together, and laughing, talking like we'd never parted ways, easing the pain inside me bit by bit.