[Discontinued] Peril of Choices and Falling

Have You Ever

Author's Note: This chapter comes immediately after Hummingbird Heartbeat, and we're back to our favourite lion's POV. Fair warning, I have a feeling that the last part of this chapter is going to be a bit controversial. PLEASE, for your own sake, don't skip to the last part just because I said it's going to be controversial - it will take away all of the build up of this chapter.

As with everything else before this, let me make a disclaimer: majority of this story is based on pure imagination, so please don't take whatever you read here as factual truth. This is just me, trying to fit together the bits and pieces we know, filling in the gaps with a whole truck load of creative thinking, in an attempt to tell a story that is halfway believable.

Enjoy and please leave your comments, I do love reading all of your reactions :)

Sometimes, I'm haunted

by the thought

that we only have one life

and we live it provisionally,

waiting in vain for the day

that our real life will begin.

And so life passes by.

AUGUST 2019

They left for the airport right after a late lunch, and there wasn't any time left to explore the city as their schedule was tight. He was thankful that everyone else was too busy doing last minute packing that they didn't notice the awkwardness that has befallen their two charges, something that can be thought of as strange considering how cozy they were acting last night. He tried to act as if nothing happened, reaching out to the younger man and not wanting to make him feel left out again, but Krist was the one giving him the cold shoulders since breakfast. He didn't try to push his luck, content in just letting the other man's temper run its course.

Privately, he's actually a bit relieved that Krist was giving him some space, as it allowed him to clear his head and put his focus back on the plan. Sentiments and nostalgia shouldn't have been enough for him to question the merit of his decision. He's known from the start that it will be a battle to let go of his long held feelings, that it will be difficult to give up on their history together. The surprise call from Joss last night was a reminder for him to forget about what he feels and instead remember what he deserves, further strengthening his resolve that he was making the right choice.

The silence between them persisted all throughout the wait at the airport, and the entire flight back to Bangkok. He took the opportunity to rest and clear his mind, pushing the issue concerning the younger man to the back of his head as he had more pressing matters to think about – the start of his new semester. It's again his final year at University, and he can't help but look back at how much has changed in the past four years of his life. Being cast in SOTUS did not only affect his social and financial status, it also allowed him to discover and pursue his dream of becoming a director.

When he graduated from high school, he didn't know what he really wanted to do with his life, content with just playing his videogames. His mother was the one who pushed him to go for a degree in Economics, thinking that it will provide him with a secure future. When he lost his mother, it was as if he also lost his motivation in school, with the only exception of being the head Varker as his sole reason for enjoying the whole University experience. After working on the first season of SOTUS, and seeing what goes behind the cameras, he felt a sudden desire to learn more. So, at the cusp of graduation, he had a sincere talk with his father to ask his permission for him to change courses and transfer Universities. He feared his dad's disappointment and anger, but instead what he got was full support.