New Newer Rules

14 - Underwear

It starts like this :

Whereas Taehyung had been doing his best to ignore Jeongguk for both of their well-beings, it becomes clear very quickly that it isn't going to work. He's close to Yoongi and Jimin, the others becoming so fond of him so rapidly that the change gives Taehyung whiplash.

What started as his friends promising a very drunk Taehyung that they'd help hunt down the cheating twink if it was what Taehyung wanted had become Namjoon or Yoongi telling Taehyung to sit down when Jeongguk comes over and he's trying to climb out the window.

Doesn't matter that Seokjin's apartment is on the fifth floor. Taehyung would deal with that broken leg on his own.

When he's drunk, he still considers calling Jiae and asking to try again. When he's a little more
sober, he considers calling her sister because he's never fucked someone so flexible twice. When he's sober, he wants to be drunk. Jimin's the one who finally deletes Jiae's number after Taehyung drinks himself to sleep. Doesn't make a difference. Taehyung's drunken brain remembers it.

He stays sober for class and endures Seokjin walking him across campus with Jeongguk. Taehyung may tune out their conversations entirely and plot the best way to escape, but two days a week he deals with it.

"Are you guys going to Hoseok's party this weekend?" Seokjin asks.

Taehyung has Seokjin's hand, hanging over his shoulder, gripped between both of his tightly. He might be a little hungover, but he didn't drink this morning. Progress.

"No," Taehyung says, at the same time Jeongguk nods excitedly and says, "Yes!"

Seokjin squeezes Taehyung's hand. "Quit acting like an old man, Tae."

"I don't like frat parties."

It's been his go-to excuse for so long that no one questions it anymore. Taehyung is glad. If they believe it's simply because he'd prefer to get sick in his own bathroom instead of breaking up a hookup just to vomit, then he doesn't have to explain why he's been avoiding Hoseok along with Jimin.

"Oh, I have to go to registrar," Seokjin says, coming to a stop. "I expect you both over for dinner tonight."

"But- hyung-"

"No excuses, Taehyung. You've bailed for two weeks."

"Ugh."

When he leaves, Taehyung turns to enter the building for his photography class, but Jeongguk grips his sleeve and refuses to let go even when Taehyung tries to shake him off. He doesn't move at first, wondering if Jeongguk will give up if he doesn't turn around.

No such luck. Taehyung sighs, feels something he doesn't want to name pinch his throat when he turns to look at Jeongguk. Students stream past them, hurrying to class before they're late.
He's resigned when he asks, "What, Jeongguk?"

"Are you still mad?"

Taehyung walks away without another word.
That's another thing driving Taehyung up the wall. He knows he told Jeongguk after they fucked at the bar to ask Taehyung later if he was still mad, but he hadn't anticipated seeing Jeongguk again, or fucking him a second time, and hadn't anticipated Jeongguk asking him that question every other day.

He's not still mad. Seokjin or Jimin might call him a goddam liar for that, but it doesn't matter what they think. Taehyung wasn't in love with Jiae, missing her when he's drunk isn't the reason why he can't forgive Jeongguk. He can't. He just can't forgive Jeongguk because every single time Taehyung sees him, eyes crinkling with the force of his smile, smirk ever-present when he's teasing Jimin, or head-butting Yoongi in an attempt to act cute enough to have Yoongi pay for his food,
Taehyung sees what he wanted all along.

Dating Jiae, Taehyung had felt nothing but restricted. She stopped him from going to parties. She criticized him for laughing too loudly. She insulted the way he dressed, even went so far one afternoon as to throw away the clothes of his that she didn't like. Jimin had found them in a pile below the window.

But Taehyung thought it was love.
Because isn't that love? Helping to change someone into something better than when you met them? If Taehyung's attitude was too crass, if his clothes were unflattering, wasn't she doing him a favor?

Jimin told him once when Jiae locked herself in Taehyung's room after a fight that something like that wasn't healthy. Taehyung had ignored it. He'd ignored everything. The good outweighed the bad. Their Instagram posts were proof of that.

Now, when he looks at Jeongguk, he sees someone he might've fallen hard for in high school. He sees boyish charm mixed seamlessly with the desire to be seen as someone older, stronger.

Jeongguk's fierce personality and sharp wit clash painfully with Taehyung, but in a way that wakes something in Taehyung he feared he'd lost forever.

He felt something when he fucked Jeongguk. Instead of hiding himself in his actions, instead of ignoring his partner and getting off too quickly to really fill any kind of void, Taehyung had wanted to take his time. He wanted to work Jeongguk up and watch him fall apart beneath Taehyung's ministrations, urge every possible noise of pleasure from Jeongguk's lips.

And that scared the shit out of Taehyung.

Despite how he'd felt when fucking Jeongguk, Taehyung knows he can't have that.

Looking at Jeongguk, Taehyung only sees where he went wrong with Jiae. He's perfect, Jeongguk

is; with his strong arms and a beautiful smile, with his flushed cheeks when he's a little tipsy and the

way he'll threaten to bite Jimin's hand whenever Jimin ruffles his hair, only to whine when he doesn't get cuddled during a movie. The way he tries to stand up to Taehyung only to falter.

Claiming he's terrified of Yoongi only to seek the older out first before any of them.

Jeongguk is a contradiction wrapped neatly in a fantasy paradise.

Taehyung can understand entirely why Jiae would want Jeongguk instead of him.

Who would want Taehyung when Jeongguk was even a consideration?

Who would want him-?

"Woah, Taehyung?"

Hands on his chest bring Taehyung to a stop. He blinks away tears he hadn't realized were clouding

his vision, looking around to see that he's walked up three floors and nearly gotten to class without

even thinking about it. He must be late already, a few students throwing him dirty looks where he

blocks the hallway as they're running to class.

Mina moves her hands from Taehyung's chest to cup his face. "Are you okay? Holy shit, what

happened to you?"

"Are you busy?" Taehyung asks, the question garbled and crushed beneath the weight of his

uselessness. His hands are shaking where he grips the straps of his backpack. Mina is kind enough not to ask for the origin of his tears, wiping them away with the pads of her thumbs.

"I just got done with class."

"I don't remember where your dorm is."

"It's okay." Mina brushes her fingers over Taehyung's cheeks. "It's close. Come with me."

A few hours later he's calling Jimin to come get him, drunk and choking on tears and he can't find his underwear.