What the Heart Wants

Chapter 1

It wasn’t always like this: painful. It’s all just a game. A contest: A way to test each other’s strength. For some reason, I put up with all of the disrespect and the screaming and the using. There are a million reasons why I should give up, but there’s only one reason I stay. I love him. I love Ashton with every ounce of strength I have.

“I’m going out with the guys.” He announces. I don’t even answer knowing where he’s going. He’s going out with the boys again.

“Haidyn!”

“I heard you, Ashton,” I responded with aggravation.

“Well then, answer me!”

“I don’t have to. It’s not like I don’t already know where you’re going. You go out all the time doing God knows what, Ash.”

“Ok, why does that matter? What do you think I’m doing? Sitting on my arse and picking up some prostitute off the street? No. I’m working so I can somehow manage to make you happy! Sorry if I need a little free time!”

“I can’t ever have any time with you until you get home. Baby, I want time with you! You work with Michael and Calum and Luke! I see you when you get home at midnight and half the time you show up pissed off!”

“Ooohhh myyy Goooooodddd,” he groans, “Geez, when I asked you to be my girlfriend I didn’t ask you to be my MUM, Haidyn!”

“You know what?”

“What Haidyn? What? You’re done? You’re tired of my disrespect? YOU WANT OUT?” he yelled.

“No, I want you out, Ashton,” I replied calmly.

“It’s the same crap. EVERY TIME!”

“GET OUT!” I yelled.

He glared at me. I knew this would end the same way it always does. I sit on the couch crying until I fall asleep and he comes to beg for my forgiveness as I reluctantly give it to him. And I did just that. I don’t know what time, but I assumed midnight because I felt strong arms pick me up bridal style and carrying me to the bedroom and lay me on a bed as the blankets covered me. He had carried me to his room. I was about to wake up and go to my room, but I felt someone grab my arm and pull me back.

“No, Ashton. I’m not going to ‘cuddle’ with you and forgive you that easily. Let me go.”

“Come on, babe. Please. I’m sorry.”

I lay back down and covered my body with the blankets as one arm wrapped around my waist and the other stroked my hair.

“I love you, Haidyn. So so much.” I held back tears as he spoke sweetly in my ear, I wanted to pull away, but I reluctantly replied, “I love you too.”

Ashton’s POV

 

-His Dream-

            Haidyn lay beside me on the grass. She rolled over and lay on my chest as I pulled away.

“Ashton, what’s wrong.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Please, I feel like I did something wrong.”

“You did! You did EVRYTHING wrong. You mess up everything!”

“What the hell! I haven’t done anything!”

“Just get OUT OF MY LIFE.”

“How dare you, you—“

“Shut UP,” I screamed as I struck her on the face as she fell to the ground.

“Oh my god. Haidyn! I’m so sorry. H-Haidyn?” She looked up at me as blood and tears streamed from her face. I looked down at my hand as her blood stained my palm. Darkness suddenly surrounded me.

-End of Dream-

            I woke up with sweat dripping from my curls, tears stained on my cheeks and Haidyn by my side. I reminded myself that it was all a dream. I knew what happened last night. It’s been happening a lot lately. I leave because I don’t want anything bad to happen. I don’t want to do something I would regret for the rest of my life. I don’t want my worst nightmare to become my worst reality.

            I got up making sure that I wouldn’t wake her up. I went into the kitchen and began making breakfast. I scrambled some eggs while the toast was in the toaster. I pulled the Vegemite out of the cupboard and spread it on each toast square. I finished the bacon as I felt small arms wrap around my bare torso.

“Good morning, kitten.”

“Morning, Mr. Irwin,” she softly spoke, “what’s for breakfast?”

“The menu consists of scrambled eggs, bacon and Vegemite Toast.” I replied in my best butler voice.

“Sound delightful,” she giggled as I placed a quick kiss on her lips, “How did you learn to cook like this, Ash?”

“Well, when you live with a group of teenage boys who only know how to microwave and boil, you learn a couple things. Plus! I watched my mum cook,” I replied with a smirk. We finished breakfast and I finished cleaning the dishes.

“So, I have a proposal.”

“What is your proposal?”

“Come to the studio today.”

“Ash—“

“Please. We’ve been together for 9 months and you’ve only been to the studio once.” I begged. She sighed and her eyes met mine.

“Okay.”

“YES! Now! We have more important issues to deal with. POKÉMON IS ON!” I quickly threw her over my shoulder as she squealed. I planted her on the couch and turned on the TV.

“I don’t wannaaaaa!”

“Yes, you do. I tickle you if you don’t.”

“Oh no you won’t.”

“Oh we’ll see about that.” I tackled her and tickled her as she screamed. She finally gave up and we watched Pokémon as we sang along to Jiggly-Puff’s part. I looked over at her and noticed she had her phone out videoing me so I got up and started doing my Jiggly-Puff dance. She giggled.

“Bom bom bom bom bom bom bom,” I mimicked leaning into the camera.

“What is that?”

“It’s a Pokémon!” I replied matter-of-fact-ly.

“Oh!” she laughed as she cut off the video. I hovered over her placing a kiss on her lips.