Your Forever Is All That I Need

So Long, Not Goodbye

A/N: TRIGGERING! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE OFFENDED! OKAI BYE.

Kellin's P.O.V.

About a week or two ago, Katelynn ended up getting my number and called me and said a bunch of shit. It kind of pissed me off and let me just say that I was in a terrible mood while on stage. I didn't take it out on the crowd because I love them, but Katelynn just pisses me off. I don't see what "I'm into guys" that she doesn't understand. She needs to just go find someone else and leave me the hell alone becuase someone is gonna kill her one day. And by that, I mean Vic. Vic hates her fucking guts and I worry about him sometimes because Katelynn NON STOPS texts me and he sees what all she says. I don't reply back to her. I blocked her on everything I own in social media, but she seems to figure out a way to get ahold of me. She's a phyco bitch.

"Hey." Vic says to me.

"Hi." I say in a low voice.

"Everything okay?" He asks. I love how he questions me. His voice is so deep and when he tries to whisper stuff to me his throat cracks and I can never stand but laugh.

"Uhh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm just tired from this tour. It's kind of making me crazy." I say back to him lying. I hate telling him lies. Ever since we moved here, I have been self harming myself and I can't really take anymore. I know I have Vic and my band and everything, but I just feel so low of myself. One day when me and Vic we're laying down, he was rubbing his hands on my arms and I got scared, so I told him I needed to get back to my bus. He doesn't know I have all my razors with me. No one knows. I haven't been taking my medicine. I just flush them so that Vic doesn't notice. He makes sure I take two a day, but I don't.

"Are you sure?" He asks me again in his cracky voice. I laugh and smile. I peck his lips and tell him I need to shower. He stands up to follow me, but I stop him. I tell him that I need to think and that when I'm alone I think better. He nodded and told me that he'd see me at the bar later that night. I nodded in return and gave him a hug and a long kiss goodbye.

"I love you." Vic says before leaving. My face turned red and I finally had the nerve to say it back.

"I love you too." I say smiling.

~~~~~~

I got in the shower and before I knew it, the razor had hit my skin.

"I'm so ugly! Why do I have to look like this!" I scream to myself. No one else is here right now. They all went to go eat and go to a carnival. I didn't want to go. I "didn't feel good".

Once again, the razor hits me again, but worse. All I see is black. What's happening? I open the shower door. Maybe I'm just hot and can't breathe right. I grab my towel and fall onto the floor. Blood is everywhere and it won't stop.

"What did I do?" I say to myself. All I see is black dots and I'm dizzy. "W-what's going on?" It finally goes away for a minute and I get on my boxers and black skinny jeans with my Anthem shirt on. I wrap the towel around my wrist where it wouldn't stop bleed and tried to find a bandana that Justin wouldn't be wearing hoping that it would help the bleeding to stop. I don't see any blood pour from the bandana, so I dry my hair, brush it, and get my black Converse on. I walk to Vic's bus and see a note.

Go to the bar, I'll see you there. We are all here.

Love you more,

Vic

Did I black out for a while? No. I couldn't have.

"Hey Kellin!" The bus driver yells.

"Yeah?" I ask.