Come What May

Three Proposals... No, Four?!

I was sitting in the library reading about monsters, not exactly a subject that a lady should be researching. However, the monster had been on my mind since he told me that cryptic message. What all did I have coming in my life? Just dawning, how old was he? Why must he be so cryptic?

I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard a gentleman clear his throat. I looked up to see Dr. Seward standing before, worrying his hat. I grew a bit nervous when I also noticed a lancet in his hand as well. I knew that he worked at the asylum, so having it shouldn't have come as a surprise, but how casually he was handling it unnerved me even more than my monster could. Upon my inquiry of helping him, he sat in the chair across from me setting his hat neatly upon his knee.

"Dear Miss Lucy, I do apologize for coming upon you before lunch, but my evening shall be very full," he informed me. He grew nervous as he started playing with the lancet in hand. "I know that I had only met you in April, but I have grown quite fond of you."

I was fighting back the notion to scream as he continued to play with the lancet in ways that unnerved me in so many ways. However, I let him continue, afraid of where he was going with this.

"A man is expected to leave the home that he was raised in, make a name for himself, hold down a job, have money to prepare a future for himself... and for a family. A man can't exist in this world on his own. A man needs a companion to help him stay strong, to comfort him when he is weak, and forgive him when he falters. A man needs a companion to build a family with, to produce an heir for his lineage. I wish for that companion to be you." The look in his eyes when he glanced my way after confessing such thoughts was too much. "Please, Lucy, I couldn't bear it if you were to hate me so."

He stopped his train of thought when I burst into tears. He took my hands as I wept and tried to comfort me.

How could I break this dear, poor man's heart? How could I let him call himself a brute when he was simply trying to pour his heart out to me? I wept like a child as his thumbs stroked circles over the backs of my hands asking me if I could ever learn to love him. I couldn't lie to him. I couldn't give him such false hope. I shook my head, my heart breaking further as I watched his hands shake when he withdrew them.

"There... there is another one, isn't there?" he asked.

"There is," I confessed.

"I understand," he sighed, taking my hands again into his. "I thank you for your honesty, instead of giving me this false hope that your heart might be free for a man to claim. However, you love another, and I wish that he will cherish you like I do, but..." He looked at me long and hard as he pulled my hands close. "Should you ever need a friend, at all, please consider me your closest."

I wept, covering my mouth as I nodded, pulling him into a hug. I couldn't stomach getting up when he informed me that he had to go, but after he left, I had to write to Mina. However, I soon started crying anew and had to stop. I sat at my bed weeping as I tried to calm my nerves.

"My dear Lucy, whatever is the matter?" my monster cooed, wrapping his arms around me.

I wept into his shoulder while he shushed me. After a bit of gentle inquiry, I told him about Dr. Seward and his proposal. It helped me to get it out, but I knew that I wanted to speak with Arthur about it.

I told Arthur everything. I had even told him some of my deepest, darkest secrets, save for my monster. My monster was my secret, something for me. I'm sure that Arthur had something that he kept to himself.

"It's alright, you were very brave to be forthcoming with him," my monster reassured me, "Some women would have just yanked him along until she was satisfied with his money."