In My Darkest Hours

Chapter 5:

~Flashback~

My bags are packed, I have everything that I need, so why can't I bring myself to leave? The tears that I've been holding back finally broke through. Streaming down my face as I stood in the palace that I built with my own hands. It took me so long to get everything I need for it, so why am I leaving? Why should I leave behind all of my hard work? I love being a hero so... Why am I quitting? How can I just go back to an ordinary life after all that has happened? Sure Katelyn and KC will be there, we'll be living together, but will anything ever be the same after the Few?

"Jess, are you okay?" Castor asked, breaking me out of my trance.

"It's Aphmau, actually." I managed to whisper, "And yes I'm fine."

For a brief moment, an expression of confusion crossed his face, "Where will you be going?"

"I'm going back home, to Ru'uan, my friends are there."

Home. For some reason, Ru'an no longer seemed like home. But it is, right?

~Flashback Ends~

Katz had just left to wait outside and my mother had just come back in. It was just me and her in the family room.

I'll admit that I'm a bit nervous to bring up traveling to Tu'la but... I know that I need to. I take a small breath to try and calm down a bit before continuing, "Mom," I start, still a little unsure of how to handle this, "I am considering going to Tu'la for the unveiling of the monument to the Few." I said in a rush. 

She took a second to process what I had just said before she spoke, "Alright, who all is going to be coming with you?"

"Just me and Celestia." 

"Mija, are you sure you want to go alone?" My mom asked me, her voice filled with uncertainty, "This isn't a simple decision." 

"I know Mama but... I think it will help. And everyone here would just baby me." I truly did believe it would help me regain the strength I had lost.

"Did you think this through? Do you have a place to stay and the money for plane tickets?" I'm not sure if I lost it when I left the Few or at the Lodge but... I know I need it.

"I'm staying with some friends from the exchange program." If I stay here any longer, in our home, without him, I... I might fall into despair.

"Oh, Aphmau, you know I trust you, it's just that... You went through something traumatizing, are absolutely sure your thinking straight?" And this time, no one will be there to catch me.

"Mom, for the first time since the Lodge I am certain of something, and I haven't seen this clear for a long time, I need to go to Tu'la." I firmly said, with a confidence I thought I had lost a long time ago.

After a few seconds she spoke, "Okay, I won't stop you, but... please be safe." I nod turning around towards to stairs and begin walking.

I turn into the room we used to share a grab the few things I was bringing with. First I grab the wolf plush, laptop, and phone from my bed. Then I search the closet for clothes that would suit Tu'la's weather this time of year. I pull out some jeans, t-shirts, and a jacket. I also grab a couple pairs of shorts, skirts, and tank tops, just in case it is warmer. I grab the large purple suitcase that is above my head and pull that down as well. I then grab everything Celestia would need.

Stuffing all of the clothes into the suitcase, I realized I had forgotten the shower stuff. Rising to my feet I venture into the bathroom to grab what I need and stick them into a small travel bag. On the way back, an object on the shelf caught my eye, the bandanna. I reach for the piece of red fabric before stopping, hesitant about bringing it with. Before I could convince myself not to, I grabbed it as well as the recorder. I place the two objects carefully into my suitcase. 

Tying my hair back with a purple ribbon to keep it out of my face, I finish packing. Standing up, I walk towards the door, bag in hand, beacon on my wrist. Down the stairs I went, the suitcase thumping behind me and Celestia at my heels. I marched towards the door, only stopping to glance at the pictures on the wall. Pictures of us, me and Aaron and everyone else. A small tear fell from my eye. Wiping it away, I turn to the door and began my journey once again, moving forward to whatever it is that my future holds for me. May Irene guide me, because I'm going back to the place it began.

A/N Thank you for your patience while waiting for this chapter, don't forget to ask us questions.