theatrophile // prinxiety au

five

tw: a hellish nightmare, racing (suicidal) thoughts, panic attack

previously:

Roman chuckled nervously again before taking in a deep breath and ripping off the bandaid.
"I've got something to tell you."

Virgil's laughing came to a sudden halt and he returned his gaze to Roman's.
"Is something wrong?"

Roman shook his head.
"Dear, no. At least I don't think so."

Virgil didn't say anything in response, only searched Roman's eyes for something.

"I'm afraid I've redeveloped feelings for you." Roman drew out a sigh.

"I feel like that's not the end of that statement." Virgil commented. He didn't shy away from Roman. He wasn't angry or anything. In fact, he was somewhat relived. Truth be told, he too had developed some feelings.

"Just give me a chance. I know things weren't too good with Logan, but we've got a whole summer left. Just give me a chance. I'll sweep you off your feet."

Virgil was hesitant, as if thinking over any and all possible consequences to saying yes.

"You've got the rest of summer. No major injuries, please?"

A glint of something that he couldn't quite place flashed through Virgil's soft chocolate brown eyes.

"Of course." He leaned forward slightly, pressing their foreheads together. "Thank you."

"Of course, Ro." Virgil smiled, letting his eyes fall shut. Moments like these were the kinds of moments he wished he could capture in a picture and lock up in a vault to keep it safe from the world. He wished he could. But he couldn't, so for now, he decided keeping the memory fresh in his mind was enough until the day that he'd ask someone to take a picture of him and Roman. He decided that that sounded nice.

/ - \

Nobody likes you, Virgil.

That's why Logan left.

Roman only feels sorry for you.

You should just go back to slitting your wrists.

You should just kill yourself.

A rather vivid image appeared in front of Virgil.

It was Logan and Roman, both shaking their heads at him, whether it was disapproval or disappointment he wasn't sure, but he didn't like it.

"Just kill yourself." Roman said, his voice sounded like a dull monotone.

"Nobody could ever love you." Logan joined in with Roman's taunts until the two figures disappeared into the darkness and Virgil felt fat, wet tears on his cheeks.

He hiccuped. Once. Twice. Thrice.

He felt as if he couldn't breathe and all he could hear was a loud staticky ringing in his ears.

He tried to stay quiet as to not wake Roman in the room over, but alas, he couldn't hear himself over the ringing in his ears.

There were footsteps and a soft knock on the door.

"Virgil?" It was Roman.

Shit, Virgil thought. You woke him up. You useless piece of shit. You might as well throw yourself out the window now because he's definitely going to kick you out for this.

Roman opened the door a crack, peeking in.

He saw Virgil, curled up in a ball, shaking and shuddering from the force of his near-silent sobs.

"Oh, Virgil." Roman nearly threw the door open, quick to be at Virgil's side.

Virgil felt the bed dip slightly and tried to get out a word in between his racking sobs and gasps for air.

"Shh. It's okay. You need not to speak if you can't or don't want to." Roman reassured his friend.

Roman waited patiently by Virgil's side, gently petting his hair while he waited for him to calm down.

When Virgil had finally calmed down, his head hurt and he was tired.

Virgil, tired and scared, moved closer to Roman and mumbled a quiet, nearly inaudible, "cuddles," before he fell into a peaceful sleep.

// an //
who knew that this year i would be lucky enough to update my book on christmas and on new year day. I personally really like this chapter, I hope you like it too. have a happy new year and I love you all so so so so so so much!

i'm starting a new sanders sides oneshot book that i'm literally about to publish in a few minutes, i hope you check it out and request stuff because i'm really low on original ideas right now :)