Charlie & Alex

To my deerest Agnes

My mom and I usually worked at the hotel together to raise a few extra bucks.
The ladies my mom worked with were really contributive .They  sometimes helped pay the bills.My favourite was Agnes she's middle aged woman who immigrated from Mexico.To start a better life here in America she's got 7 children in total.All are toddlers to my disadvantage ,3 were adopted ,the other 4 were of her own,but she plans to adopt more she always joked.Agnes works hard for her family.Too bad her husband is so abusive and adds on as a drug addict.He cheats on his wife with multiple of women 20 years his junior every  single week.Agnes swears she'll never leave him because she's a religious women.Most days she won't even go to work because Agnes would be beaten and bruised  up so badly and  fears people will become suspicious.

Agnes is like a second mom to me.I endure every scar,scratch and bruise she has.It pains me to see her like this but there's nothing I can do but love her endlessly.

My bestfriend Somaya comes by my place alot.It bothers me because there's nothing much to view.I sleep on a matress that my mom hoarded from a dumpster near McDonald's.The matress has a distinct pee stinch and multiple holes.It's the best my mom could do and I thank her for that.Sleeping on the floor could've been optional.

Somaya always insists that we live over her place but I'm afraid her parents might be a bit racist.
I forgot to mention Somaya is white and originated from Germany.
Her great grandfather served in WORLD WAR 2.And she jokes that Hitler could've be one of her descendants.

And,they own a Swastika in every room which I find creepy.
Friends don't judge I guess!I rarely go to Somaya's house,sometimes I just stop by her house for some  food and clean water.
It's quite sad I know I barely eat at home, the leftovers my mom usually brings are half eaten rolls that reek of beer,the chicken has some meat on the bone, but fails to fill me up and the rice is  stodgy.

My mom's not comfortable with stealing some of the hotel food because of the 24/7 surveillance system,but I still wonder how she manages to take the soap?

I always envyed Somaya.She had everything a teenage girl would dream to have.A super hot boyfriend who owns the latest hoodies and spoils his girlfriend more than anything,a loving relationship with her parents.Not to mention a hot body like Shakira and she was super rich.I didn't know why someone like Somaya would be friends with someone like me.

She was always so nice to me she'd compliment my fasique and would  always say I would make a good runnway model since I was so skinny ,but I feared I was boarderline anorexic.
She'd always give me her old clothes which I must admit looked expensive and quite chic.

For my 13th birthday Somaya bought me black and white converse sneakers and I wore those sneakers everywhere I'd go even to the Sunday services at church (well technically it's just a 2 hour bible study with Agnes and the other hotel cleaners.)

I found them quite important
There's nothing that lifts me up than just learning about the word of God.Those sneakers and the bible that Agnes had given to me were my priced possesions.

It took me quite some time to read and write given the fact that my mom had no form of education so she wasn't able to teach me anything by having good morals.Til this day I struggle just a bit with literacy.I feared I'd end up like my mom because school was already a struggle to get by and all I was good for was cleaning sheets and making beds.Am I good enough for society's exeptance??

I'm boarderline anorexic and I might just be dyslexic.At the age of 13 I had multiple suicide attempts.In the process of wanting to kill myself my neighbours would always call 911 and story was once aired on the news but I never got my taste of fame people thought I was only doing this for clout.It was  embarassing because everyone at school at  that time feared to be my friend given the fact that I'd  have multiple scars on my bare arms and legs due to cutting myself with glass of found near a park.

Don't fear people I feel like most teens have been through this type of mess. I'd say I'm better now because of the confidence reassurance I get from my peers and my mom.At that time of my life I was young and reckless.

I mean the only reason I'd develope such depression was that I too was in a uncomfortable situation no girl would want to be in.I was raped by a guy who'd been giving free candy at the side of the road.Me being me. He lured me into his trap and raped me behind an abandoned building mind me but I was young I didn't know what had happened.I never screamed nor complained.I never uttered such to my mother.

I still see the guy at times in the street.It's more awkward than usual given the fact that he took my youth away from me.That should go unpunished but this happened about three years ago and each day I learn to forgive him of his sinful act.I can't say it's easy in any way.