free your mind

and you will leave

and you will leave like everyone else.
will we ever meet again?
I'm scared. Cause I know that you won't do what you Said.
I'm scared that my mum will be right.
I'm scared that you care as less about me as I believe.

I'm scared that you will leave like anyone else.

Because everyone leaves me.
Leaves a hole in my Heart.
Tears my flesh apart.
Takes my oxygen till I need to force myself to breathe.
I would give everything for someone to stay. Just for one person.
I would rip my heart out of my chest.
But nobody stays.

And it makes me wanting to shred my skin Till I drown in my own blood.
Everyone leaving makes me drown myself in wine and wodka.
It makes me hoping to die. Wanting to overdose.
It makes me thinking about how much the human body can take and what pills could possibly kill me.

And sometimes when a person I love leaves I try what my body can take.
These are the days on which the room's spinning and my feets are tripping over nothing because I drank too much.
These are the days on which I collaps on my bed with a spinning mind.
And after these days I wake up, dress and go to school even if I need to stop driving in order to vomit next to the Road.
Even if I feel like puking in class.

And nobody will ever stay. Exept wine, wodka and cigarettes.