Too Much To Ask |NH|

Chapter Twenty Two

For the next couple of weeks, Niall's routine consisted of getting up, gathering up everything, buying his breakfast, and walking to the cemetery. He spent his mornings with Leni, talking to her, writing with her. His afternoons were always spent at the piano. And his evenings were spent talking with her, again.

He knew it may seem a little odd for him to go there every day and talk to her like she was right in front of him, but it was helping him. He was sleeping better, he was eating better, he was thinking better. In some weird way, the instant he got there, he knew Ben had been right. What he had needed was in Galway the whole time, because what he had needed was her. He needed to be near her.

Throughout the beginning of this writing period, he developed a concept which made it easy for him to write, again. He was writing two or three songs a day. He'd put them down and play them for her each morning, finding new inspiration while sitting with her. He did, however, find himself at a loss for the song he had started with her music, so he put it down for a bit, wrote some other things, and then came back to it with fresh eyes.

On the day that would have been their wedding day, Niall woke up in a somewhat chipper mood. He had fully prepared himself to lie in bed all day. Instead, he got up, and did what had, by now, become his routine. This time though, he got dressed nicely, grabbed his usual belongings along with a new, different item, and walked out the door.

"Good morning, love," he said, spreading out the blanket he had brought, and sat down. "Happy wedding day....yeah, I know...but still, this day will always mark the happiest day of my life because I met you." He had flowers with him, daffodils, and he placed them at one corner of her headstone before he pulled out the other item. " And, since we always were slightly unconventionally conventional, I have an anniversary gift for you. Today would've been ten years together, my love, and ten years calls for daffodils and tin or aluminum. Strange, I know, but I think you'll like it." He placed the plaque he had had made down. It spread the width of the bottom of her tombstone. "It's a sound wave of our song. I've had it coated so it's protected from the elements and won't corrode. I'm gonna get someone to install this, right here, for you."

Niall smiled a little, a sad but content smile. "So, I know this day was supposed to go differently, and to be honest, I thought I wouldn't be able to get out of bed but, I found myself unable to stay in bed today. I've grown accustomed to being here with you. I know you may be worried about me, but I think I'm doing better, and I have you to thank....well, and Ben, I guess." A small laugh escaped his lips.

"So, since this day is a bit different than originally planned, I guess, let's just go about our day, as we have been. What do ya say?"

Niall pulled out his guitar and played her the couple of new lines from a few different songs he had written the previous night. "Ya like?" he asked, when he finished.

He had gotten used to the silence after he said anything but he had grown to be okay with the silence. It gave him a small sense of peace. He knew she'd guide the answer to him in some way.

"People must think I'm crazy. Coming here every day, sitting here and talking with you, every single day. Hell, sometimes, I wonder if I am. But, doing this has made me the happiest I've been since...since you left. And, I firmly believe I've never been more creative. I'm loving the songs we've gotten so far. But, I'm still having a little trouble with this one song, though. I really like what we've got so far, but I keep getting stuck. Any ideas?"

Again, there was silence, "Yeah, I know, that's probably too much to ask of you." He sat back against his guitar case and sighed.

When his stomach began to growl, he slowly relented to needing to get up and go. "I'll be back, you know I will. And we'll figure this all out together, like we always do. That's not too much to ask, is it?" He smiled, "I didn't think so." He bent down and kissed her name; his name, "Horan. It always did suit you.  Ya know, I think I knew, from the moment you stepped into my line of sight, that you were the one; that you would be my once in a lifetime.  I'm so glad I didn't fuck it up." He kissed the top of the marker one more time before he left. "I love you."