Play Pretend, Find a Friend? (Larry Stylinson)

18

XVIII.

Two days later, Louis was lying face down in Zayn's bed. Sour gummy worms pelted him in the back every time he refused to answer a question. Zayn had good aim despite how unathletic he was. It was all in the flick of the wrist. Meanwhile Liam was doing push-ups on the floor because he was stressed for his upcoming final exams. They still had a few weeks to go, but apparently just the mention of them sent him spiralling. Louis was too distracted to feel the creeping stress and dread. It had only been two days since The Night and Louis was still riding that wonderful, sugary sweet wave of euphoria that came with a blossoming relationship.

"Why won't you tell us how it happened," Liam cried, out of breath, after the fourth time Louis refused to answer. A decent pile of sour gummy worms had accumulated in the dip of Louis' lower back. He pressed his face into the pillow and muffled a scream.

"I seduced him with my pool skills."

"You do tend to lean over the table more than you need to."

"But we want details," Liam tacked on.

Talking about The Night made Louis embarrassed, not because he was self-conscious about what had happened, but because he was shy about how much he liked Harry and he was scared the overwhelming, all-encompassing fondness would seep into his voice. Then again, he was talking to Liam and Zayn here, who were sometimes so sappy with each other it physically hurt to be near them without mentally planning their wedding.

"Harry told us what Landon said to you."

"Oh," Louis breathed, looking away. His body tensed against his will but he tried to play it off like everything was fine.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

Covering his hands with his sleeves always made him feel better, but last week Zayn had pointed out that it was a nervous habit of his, so he avoided completing the action just in time, fingers twitching. "It wasn't important."

More than that, he knew Liam and Zayn would overreact, because they were so beautifully, fiercely loyal and Louis loved them for that, but sometimes he wanted them to leave the situation alone. Adding fuel to the fire would only make Landon more pissed and Louis knew that now. He no longer had any desire to create trouble. Even though he could remember the sensation of pain and jealousy when he saw Landon kissing that random girl at that party all those weeks ago, the feeling was now foreign to him, as if someone other than himself experienced it in the first place. That pain and longing that furled deep in his core was what had motivated him to act so rashly, quite literally acting out and kissing a stranger. Spurred on by alcohol and jealousy and the comfort of seeing another stranger with a rainbow bracelet, Louis had made a split-second decision that ended up being one of the best decisions of his life. It had only been a little more than a month, but he couldn't remember what his life was like before Harry. Waking up in the morning and heading to the Phi Kapp house to pound on Harry's door with a breakfast smoothie in hand. Running into him in the library and studying together at their favorite table near the science fiction section, where Harry would sometimes rest his head on Louis' shoulder to take a twenty-minute nap. Passing him on his way to class and getting the pleasure of witnessing the big grin that always lit Harry's face when he saw Louis. Having Harry pull him to his table in the dining hall, flawlessly integrating him into the conversation with his teammates or brothers so that Louis always felt accepted and included. Watching cheesy movies with him, laughing at silly jokes, and going on long car rides through the flat expanse of rural Indiana just to listen to music and scream the lyrics out the open window, feeling young and free.

All of this was so new and Louis loved it. After waking up two mornings ago, still wrapped around Harry and swathed in blankets, they bundled up in warm clothes and wandered downstairs to make breakfast. Harry liked to cook and Louis liked to watch him and offer help when he could. Harry said he wouldn't mind teaching Louis and Louis agreed, because he was a senior in college, about to graduate, and it was about time he learned to cook without burning the whole place down.

Besides, there was something about spending time in the kitchen with Harry that made the world melt away. Harry talked him through the process, bacon sizzling in one pan, scrambled eggs in the other, with pancakes in the oven to keep them warm. Louis sliced fruit and set the table and boldly set his hands on Harry's waist from behind, kissing his shoulder.

"So, this is a thing now?" Louis asked, just to be sure, when Harry relaxed against Louis' chest, letting himself be held. It was a bold move when anyone could walk in, but Louis had been finding lately that Harry was getting more confident and caring less what other people thought of him. He had kissed Louis in front of half the school at his rugby match, after all.

"This is definitely a thing," Harry confirmed with a soft sort of sigh that sounded pleased.

So Louis kissed all down his neck, softer than he'd ever been with anyone else before. He couldn't help himself. Harry's skin was smooth and soft, his reactions tender and expressive. He seemed to really like it, given the way he lifted his arm and reached back to run his fingers through Louis' hair and hold him closer. Finally, he set the spatula down on the countertop and flipped around in Louis' arms, attaching their lips like it was the most natural thing in the world. And maybe it was.

Unsurprisingly, Harry's elbow ended up clipping one of the pans and sending it crashing to the floor. Half-cooked scrambled eggs were everywhere and they laughed so hard, they had tears in their eyes.

So things were good. Great, even. Louis was trying not to think about Landon because Landon ruined everything, and here he was, lying in Zayn's bed, trying to scheme his way out of this unfortunate conversation.

"Louis, you know what he said to you isn't true, right?"

"Yeah." Louis took a deep breath. "Yeah." He still had Landon's voice in his head sometimes, nagging him or calling him names, saying mean things, trying to grow insecurities like weeds in the cracks of the sidewalk. In his heart, he knew the words Landon had said to him were lies, and that they held no meaning or importance to Louis now. Sure, he wasn't a perfect human being, but he knew that Landon was the one who fucked up.

It helped that Harry ranted about this topic whenever it was brought up, listing off all the reasons why Louis was too good for Landon and why Landon was going to wish he never left him. Harry felt strongly about the topic and his insistence on making sure Louis knew he was too good for Landon was flattering and always made him blush.

"I'm fine," Louis promised. "Really, I appreciate how much you care about me, and I know I worried you the past few months-" he cringed, thinking of the months spent depressed and isolated in his own room, refusing to do anything more than attend his classes and sleep, "-but I promise I'm okay now. Really."

Liam, who had since finished his push-ups, deflated in relief. "We believe you, we really do," he said. "It's obvious how much happier you are now. And Harry's a good guy."

"Yeah," Louis said into the pillow. "But it's not just him. I would be this way without him too." He knew the dangers of completely relying on another person to build his own self-confidence, and he was confident this time was much different. He had no unhealthy attachment to Harry; it was all just mutual feelings of adoration and desire that settled warm and happy in his heart.

Zayn threw another gummy worm at him, this time in praise. Louis sat up and popped it in his mouth. The three of them stared at each other.

"All right, fine, I'll tell you the details," he sighed with a grin, pretending to be put out. They all knew there was nothing he would enjoy more than gushing about Harry for the next hour.