Running For Miles | ✓

10 ➳ Loneliness And Anxiety

R U N N I N G
F O R  M I L E S

Anxiety seemed to consume my whole body today.

It all started when I woke up at two am, sweaty and frightened. All thanks to Boston's psychotic face, appearing into my subconscious mind but with the touch of his long, somewhat tanned, slender finger he seemed to instantly turn my peaceful dream into a traumatizing nightmare.

By the time my phone alarm started to go off, I had been awake for four maybe five hours, unable to go back to sleep due to the anxiety of Boston coming back and haunting my dream.

I went on my phone and noticed that the videos taken of me in the cafeteria yesterday were still going around, spreading like wildfire. The number of comments on the video made my heart sink and my hands sweat with nerves as I kept scrolling through my phone.

The white light enveloped me, coldly, as I shook. My breaths came in sharp pants and I tried to gain control, but nothing was working. It hurt. I tried to breathe calmly, but every time I looked up those cruel, horrible, necessary words were there. Words I had known long before the page had loaded. Words I had waited for with anxiety and worry, knowing, somehow, what they might say.

Slowly, the panic and anxiety attack flowed away, allowing me to start and get ready for school. It was still difficult don't get me wrong as there were still remnants of anxiety still pumping through my body.

'You should never ever let what people say to you get to you Eden, it's all bullshit and all they ever want is a reaction or to make themselves feel better, so be strong and ignore it the best you can.' My mother's once soft voice rang through my mind, I always seemed to get my language from her too.

If only she knew how strong I was trying to be. But it was starting to become really hard.

Once I had managed to skate all the way to school, hoping the fresh air would help clear my mind and rid me of feeling anxious, it had seemed to work until I took one step through the large metal gates and it hit me like a bucket of cold water, the anxiety instantly coming back.

I walked the halls with my head hung lowly, hoping no one would notice me as Eden Rivers the girl in the video covered in lettuce and having a go at the infamous Lila Hayes or maybe they will refer to me as 'The New Girl turned freak', 'Dayton Academy's new cum slut', 'skank ass hoe' or 'Cry Baby' like they had in the many comments on the video.

I don't get why they called me a slut all because they saw my bra. Bras are an everyday clothing object worn by women for the sole purpose to cover, support and elevate a woman's breasts, it shouldn't make her a slut for wearing one.

The crybaby comment was somewhat mean as well considering if they had all been taking what I've been taking from Lila and had managed to try and stand up to her and get somewhat humiliated in front of the whole school then I'm sure they would run off crying too.

Luckily nobody had said anything, well from what I could hear, about me all day which seemed to help calm some of the nerves. Although I did get a few looks, wolf whistles, and laughs when I was sitting in the cafeteria by myself at the very left corner of the huge room.

Hale kept giving me glances from his table, he looked somewhat distant almost like he was on another planet. I just can't believe he really thought I was that easy and that he could try and get into my pants. He seemed so nice and friendly but I now know why he was acting like that towards me, I couldn't help but think of the numerous girls he's tried that bullshit on and he's gotten what he wanted from them.

Well, it's not going to happen with me, ever.

I could barely eat my food and I really didn't want anyone coming near me so I decided to chuck my untouched food into the bin on my way out of the claustrophobic cafeteria as I made my way into the hopefully quiet and peaceful library,