Peter Parker- Whumptober 2019

Severe Ilness

T.W- This could just be triggering, i don't know how to put it. Sorry

(Peter's P.O.V)

You know that feeling when you know something is wrong, deep in your gut something is telling you something bad is going to happen. It's a horrible sinking feeling that seems to eat away at your insides until you feel there is nothing left. 

Yeah. 

That's how i feel. 

At first i didn't think too much about it, maybe i'm just anxious about something coming up. 

But then my spidey senses started to sound alarms in my head. And i started to panic, because i saw no danger near me. 

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A whole week of this passed, so i did the only thing i could think of. I went to Bruce. 

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He walked out of the room and looked to me, unshed tears in his eyes as he shakes his head. I frown in confusion, Bruce says "Peter, i'm so sorry. The spider bite is killing you, there is no way to stop it. We can't cut out the spider part of you, it's woven into your DNA. And i can't find a cure. I'm sorry, i've calculated you have 6 months left", his voice is solomon and apologetic. Fear races through my veins, i nod numbly and say "please don't tell anyone". He nods and leaves. Oh God no. 

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A month has passed.

I haven't told anyone. How can i. It would break them, i can't do that to my dad. 

I have started to sleep more, nothing too noticable, at least not to others. Strangely everything feels brighter and louder, like the spider part of me is growing stronger. And i guess it is. 

I'm scared.

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Three months. 

Half way. 

The realization that i am going to die is horrible. I know nothing can stop it, end the ticking time bomb. 

I have started to spend more time with people, hug my family and thank them for everything. Tell them i love them. No one but Bruce has noticed and i can always see the broken look on his face when he sees me. 

My muscles ache now, all the time. My nose will start to bleed for no reason, some times normal blood, other times black and gooey. 

I'm scared.

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Five months. 

I cry myself to sleep every night. I don't wanna go. 

People have started to notice, the bags under my eyes, the pain when i move. The pale sickly colour that has made permanent residence to my skin, even when i get dragged out into the real world.

I can feel the spider part of me. Eating and destroying my own DNA. It's excruciating. It feels like i'm being torn apart, from inside out. Every movement hurts and my limbs scream out for me to stop; just sleep. 

I'm scared.

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This is it. 

The end. 

I can feel it as i wake up. 

My door opens and my dad walks in, I smile weakly to him, trying to seem okay. He sends me a smile back and sits on my bed. "Kiddo, are you okay" He questions. 

For the first time since i got told, i stop and think. I really think about what he said and how i really feel. I always said i was okay, even when i felt the spider part, destroying me. 

I feel the tears rise in my eyes and finally i break. Tears stream down my face and a sob rips through my throat. I latch onto my dad, never wanting to let go. He runs a soothing hand through my hair and whispers "What's up Bambi". So i tell him. 

Everything. 

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Tears cascade down both our faces as dad pulls me into a hug. Everything in me feels numb, in pain. But finally. 

Finally. 

I am not alone. 

-

The day passed fast. Too fast for everyone's liking. 

Everyone found out after Dad. I didn't have it in me to tell it again, so my dad did.

The day passed with, hugs, tears, laughter and sadness. 

I could feel it creeping up on me, in the shadows, ready to pounce at any second. But i was ready. 

That night, as we all huddled together watching a film, i leant my head against my dads chest. Taking a glance around at everyone for one last time, i shut my eyes and say "I love you". 

As i drift into the everlasting sleep, i can feel the spider part of me take over, and rip away the rest of me. 

With one last breath, i accept the death and welcome it, thinking one last thing-

I'm scared

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