Forever this Shade

A Warm Welcome Home

~ Laia ~

The sky is completely black in The Dark World. And within minutes I find myself longing for the stars and Moon of The Other World. I feel strange; I'm not sure what I'm feeling. It's different to my usual and familiar emotions... that is, if it is an emotion that I'm even feeling.

I don't even know if it's positive... and I sure hope not. The blacks try to stay as negative as possible... if we feel happy, then we have a higher chance of feeling compassion or mercy, which is not tolerated here. Here, we live by the saying "Kill or be killed" which is, unfortunately very literate.

This is why I am so scared. I stand before the gates of the city, my eyes shut, and my head bowed. And when I open my eyes, I find myself staring at the faceless beings standing before me, the guards of The Gate. A shudder runs through me at the sight of my own people. We are black inside and out. Pale skin, deep eyes, thin and bony limbed- we are absolutely ugly creatures... but at the same time... we are beautiful, pure and mysterious beings.

I feel my soul figuratively sink from my being. When it returns, it feels as though it ringed the foreign and rather childish joy that I had been feeling previously (as well as the mysterious feeling) from my soul.

A curtain of misery overcomes me, causing me to slump and drag my feet. The weight of it makes my weak legs want to crumble beneath me.

My previous feelings had caused me to forget what it was like to feel depressed. But... what was it that I felt? I sigh. Why should I worry? I have no reason to. Do I? As long as I forget what happened, I should be fine.

Of course, I didn't forget. Months have passed since I encountered the boy. Nothing has changed. Actually not really... things have changed. It's gotten worse. I just can't get him off my mind, or his face from my sketchbooks.

I don't know what's happening to me!

In my distress, I search for an answer. The library is my first preference. Of course, I must be careful not to attract too much attention and give away too much information. This needs to remain a secret. The punishment for sparing a life results in banishment... and for that life to belong to the enemy... my action would result in execution. A shiver runs through my spine as memories of previous executions float across the surface of my mind, blinding me from the buzzing city around me. Blood spurts at my eyes as I relive the sight of death meeting it's own self. Just like my best friend... who fell in love with a classmate years ago. Seeing my own people slit her throat for something she couldn't control. Merciless. Horrid. Pitch black.

Suddenly it hits me. Love. I must be feeling love... but... no, that can't be it. Love is forbidden here. Forbidden.

My chest is tight and my mouth dry. It can't be true. It can't. But it is.

I bury my head in my hands, hiding the tears and reducing the flow of them.

My heart aches and has a sudden longing... a longing for a strong embrace. Which is strange, I've never longed for anything like this before.

"What's happening to me?" I cry out in pain. My heart feels as though it's being clawed at, ripped at and torn from all directions possible.

I feel as though I'm about to collapse so I gather myself together and push through the crowd toward my apartment.

Okay, so let me describe the city to you. The city is pretty much a rectangle of buildings. On one side, there are the food and clothing stores. Then, opposite them is the school and bank. At the front (on each side of the gates) are the control towers. Then finally, at the back, opposite the gates are the apartments. The buildings are long, tall and all connected. It looks like four large black buildings around the town square. Everything is black (except for the sky and paving, which are grey...), just like the souls in it. Pitch black.

I stare down at the crumbling streets from the elevator window. I wipe the ruined mascara and eyeliner from under my eyes with my sleeve. My focus shifts to my reflection. The girl I see is certainly not the same girl I saw this morning in my mirror. My hair is a mess beneath my hood, my eye makeup all gone, and my eyes red from crying. I sigh and pull my hood up over my head again so the hem hangs just above my lips.

The elevator dings and the doors open, concluding my arrival. I step out into the dark hallway. I walk along the hallway cautiously. I am late. The floorboards creak beneath my feet. I take one of the keys from around my neck and go to unlock the door. But the door is already open. The door is dangling from its hinges. The lock has been picked... with gunpowder.

"Who... who did this?" I whisper, stepping into the room cautiously. Then it hits me. The only people who have access to gunpowder... are the officials!

I scream suddenly. That is the last thing I do before I find myself lying on the ground unconscious, blood oozing from a deep wound in my left temple.