Back To You

So Close Yet So Far

Chapter 16:

Andrew's POV

I stood there staring at her, waiting for the words to come out. She looked at me with patient eyes as I searched for the right words. After a few minutes I saw her patience run out as she heaved a deep sigh. 

"Look Andrew, if you don't have anything to say then I'm going to go, because I'd rather not spend my entire lunch period in an empty hallway." She said.

Her voice came out cold and hard and I flinched. Her face immediately washed over with guilt and she spoke again.

"I'm sorry, I just,"

"No, it's fine. You have nothing to apologize for," I cut her off and took a breath. "But I do."

She waited for me to continue so I did.

"I am so sorry for everything. I don't know what I was thinking." I tried to find the right words.

"That doesn't explain anything Andrew. You had no reason to treat me like that." She said.

"I know, I didn't." I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. "It's hard to explain."

Natalia crossed her arms. "Well you might as well try. I'm not going to stand here all day."

I blinked at her and almost smiled. She really did become more confident. It was different than what she was before she moved away, but refreshing.

I knew it was only a matter of time before some guy caught a glimpse of how amazing she was and came to sweep her off of her feet. The thought made my stomach twist. This feeling always came when I thought about Tally dating someone. It wasn't good. I don't know why but I hated the idea. 

Okay that was kind of  a lie. I did know why. I've known for a while, actually I just can't seem to admit it out loud. I can't get the words to come out. But I couldn't keep it in anymore. It's time Natalia knew the way I felt about her.

"I know I messed up bad this time Tally. I was just mad and I took it out on you. " I said guiltily.

"What were you so mad about?" She asked.

I sighed. "I thought that you and Trent were secretly dating behind my back."

Her eyes flashed. "Wow, everyone seems to be thinking the same these days."

I rubbed the back of my neck. "Yeah, it was a mistake. I just always saw you two together and whenever I asked about it, you avoided the question or lied. That kind of makes it seem like a secret relationship."

"What I don't understand is why none of you came to talk to me about it."

I was about to answer when she continued. 

"I mean, you are all supposed to be my best friends right? I mean how horrible do you all really think I am?"

I could tell that her anger was slowly building with each word.

"You all thought that I would come into this school, become close friends with a girl and then start secretly dating the only guy that she's ever shown this much interest in? I must be a terrible person if those are the kinds of assumptions that all of you make of me."

"Tally it's not like that-"

"Everyone was thinking the exact same thing. And instead of coming to me you all decided to believe the worst and just drop me from your lives completely."

My heart broke as I saw her eyes fill with tears.

I reached out for her but she pulled away from me.

"Natalia, please just listen to me. It wasn't like that."

"And you, Andrew. My best friend. You know me better than anyone. You know more about me than I probably know about myself. How could you think that I would keep secrets from you? Would you keep secrets from me?" She asked me quietly.

"No," I whispered, my throat was scratchy.

"It just hurts more from you, I guess." She continued again. "You knew how hard it was for me to make friends. To tust people. I trusted you with my whole heart and when I thought I lost you, I didn't know what I was going to do. It hurt so much. I mean, it still hurt from Robyn and Chrissy, but you're the one I'm supposed to be able to count on."

"You can count on me Tally. I swear." I took another step toward her and put my hand on her cheek, stroking it with my thumb. Her blue eyes stared back at me with tears threatening to fall. All I wanted was to hold her until all of her tears were gone. I wanted to make her sadness go away.

"I thought I could." She spoke quietly, but it was earth shattering.

"Tally," my voice was weak.

She shook her head a little bit and broke the eye contact as she stepped back but I stepped with her.

"Listen Andrew, I'm not going to keep blaming you for this. I don't want to keep this fight going. I still want us to be friends."

I wanted to stop her and yell loud enough for everyone to hear that I didn't want to be friends. But I resisted. She was hurt right now. I had to fix our friendship before I asked her to be more.

"I promise I'll get over this and move on. I won't keep getting mad at you over it." She grabbed my hands and squeezed them before stepping away from me completely. "I was never actually mad at you, really." She shrugged and looked down before meeting my gaze again. "Just disappointed."

Then she turned away from me and began walking down the hallway. I was mentally beggin myself to go after her, tell her exactly how I felt. What I've been feeling for probably my whole life. But I didn't. A big part of me wanted to do that. But a bigger part of me knew that all she wanted right now was to be alone to think. 

I swallowed and ran a hand through my hair again. I needed to fix this.

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UPDATE! 

Okay so I know it's short! I am very sorry but I will be sure to update again very very soon!

SOOOOooooo what do you guys think of Andrew's POV??? I would like to thank Belles1414 for giving me the idea! I liked it a lot. I don't think I'll be switching POV's too often though. As much as I like it, I think it reveals a little bit too much and I would like to keep you guys guessing. So sorry! I might be adding other POVs in the future but it will be rare!

Welp if you've read this far in the author's note I want to say that I love you very much. I will hopefully have the next chapter up in a week! 

CAN EVERYONE PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR AND GO CHECK OUT THE PROLOGUE FOR MY NEWEST BOOK THE SWAP! IT HAS JUST BEEN POSTED! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! :)

As always this is un-edited so please, if there are any mistakes that you just can't stand to look at, please tell me and I will fix it immediately.

Thanks so much for reading, my lovely wattpaders

Until Next Time.......

~Lori~