2 am 1 text from Donnie ... Donnie- come outside Ava-????? Donnie- please What does he want? We haven't talked in years! I'm only going out because I know how persistent he is. He's been that way since our first conversation. Out of all the random grocery shoppers why him?
The one with a complete life but decided to pursue me anyway. I won't put all the blame on him because I knew what I was dealing with. He never lied about that but why play mind games with me? I never requested anything from him. Maybe I should have though.
"How do you know where I live Donovan" I said as I walked up to his car. "Damn I'm back to Donovan?" He put his hand on his heart. "Answer me!" "It's a small town Ava" I looked down putting my hands into my hoodie. "You getting in?" "No" He sighed and got out walking around the car. "Well can I get a hug you didn't even say hello?" "I didn't get a hello either I just get woken up and for what?" "You weren't asleep." He smiled knowingly. "What do you want?" "So no hug?" I don't have a good history of just hugging him. In the past that led to many other things.
I just shook my head no. " So uh....I'm finally free." "are you serious?" I turned and walked away laughing "Ava wait what?" "You tell me! What do you think is gonna happen now I haven't seen you in 3 years!" "Well Ava why the fuck did you come out here?" " To let you know you hurt me in the most sickening way. You played with my head and you knew what I been through. You literally made it look as though I put you through so much confusion and that you wanted me so bad but you were the one confusing me! You'd think over time you'd realize your faults and grow up but clearly not!" "You're right I'm sorry for making you feel like you were the reason for all of my hurt and turmoil. I really did love you." I shook my head and laughed "I always told you not to apologize if you're gonna repeat the same behavior..good thing you won't have a chance." He tried to grab my hand. I pulled away and started walking to my door. "Ava just answer something for me" "What?" I asked turning around "You remember what you said the last time you saw me right?" "I said I'll be back" "Why did you lie?" "I did come back just not to you." As I closed the door I felt so much freedom.I finally got out all the hurt from that toxic situation. I kneeled by the door with tears in my eyes. Walking back into my room I hear .. "Mama!" "Shh baby go back to sleep" I say rocking her back to sleep.
I met Donovan three years ago when I was young and dumb. We met in a grocery store and I thought he was fine so I gave him my number. I wish that was the only thing that drew me in but it wasn't. After talking to him I found out he was really intelligent. He was smarter than me too smart though. He's that kind of smart that can make you speak in circles and contradict yourself. A real con artist. I should have realized and ran earlier. Like I said though I was young and dumb. Also selfish after a few weeks of messing around he told me he was married. I still didn't care and told myself I was just using him for sex.
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It became too much once his wife came to my job. She didn't come to warn me to stay away from her husband like I thought. Her and Donovan were made for each other both crazy as hell.
I was walking to my car after work and walked out of the pharmacy I worked at getting my attention. "Excuse me are you Ava?" "Who's asking?" "Imani Williams, Donavan's wife"
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She basically told me she knew that Donovan and I were messing around. She said she was cool with it just keep shit on the low. Ain't that some shit? She said at least she'll know where he is if he isn't at home or work.
"Imani I don't wanna deal with Donovan anymore" "Wow you basically give ya nigga to hoes and now you wanna stop hoeing?" "Na I'm good both of y'all crazy"
A couple weeks after that I found out I was pregnant. I knew I had a lot of choices I could have made especially because of the situation I was in. I decided if I went through with the pregnancy the child would be just as much mine as it was his.
Ava meet me at the diner in an hour Donnie I'll be there When I entered the diner he was already seated at a booth. "Wassup this seems urgent?" "It is I'm pregnant." He took his hood off his head and sighed deeply. "It's not a good time for a baby" "Obviously Donovan!" "I thought you were on birth control" "I was but I also had the flu and had to take antibiotics" he just looked at me like really analyzed me. "Are you gonna ask?" "No I know " He knew he was the only person I was involved with. I don't lie to him I never had a reason to. This thing between us was never supposed to last but now here we are. Making one dumb decision got me into the most difficult situation. I had to get away and make a better life for my kid.
"Donnie I need to leave. Honestly I have to get away from you... I know it's fucked up cause I'm pregnant with your kid but this was never supposed to happen. "So you're leaving me?" "Yes Donnie...you're married I haven't spoken to you in 2 weeks it's been over for us" "I'm sorry for Imani approaching you" "She's your wife Donovan she had every right but the wrong idea."
Before Imani approached me I was already done with Donovan. Her visit just made the process quicker. Donovan and I had a 3 month affair and he quickly showed signs of possessiveness. Always asking if I was with anyone looking through my phone. Which I wasn't going for cause I never made a commitment to him from the beginning. Especially after I found out about Imani I thought we had an understanding.
"Ava I just wish I could be with you and take care of you." "Donovan I don't need you to I never did and if you're so unhappy why don't you divorce her?" "We basically have a modern day arranged marriage and we have several businesses we run together" I just shook my head "Well I'm going to Florida where my mom is. It's up to you whether you wanna be in your child's life. I want my child to have a father. You have my number don't ever call me to talk about us ask about your kid." "Are you coming back to Virginia?" "Yea I'll be back" I got up and left.
He never texted nor called me about Casey. I gave him updates about her and he sent money. That's Casey's father and I shame myself everyday for it.
