From A to Z

W

On Monday morning, there was a commotion in the Civil Engineering wing. Some students were huddled in front of a locker door where a photo was taped. They were passing gossips amongst one another:

"I didn't know that he was like that," said one boy. "I look up to him. I see him as my role model, but I guess even people like him are fallible."

"I knew something is going on between them!" exclaimed someone. "Once, I saw them kiss in the library."

His friend retched. "They have no respect for our school," he said before crossing himself.

"I wonder if they had sex already," whispered a boy to the person beside him. "I wonder who is the top."

"That's obvious," answered the other. "Of course, the tall guy is the top."

"What if he is not?" the other boy countered. The two of them chuckled.

Adam was annoyed when he heard the noise in the hallway. He has been unable to sleep well the past few days after his standoff with Zach. He could not get his face out of his head; the creases on his forehead which used to be smooth always were engraved in the folds of his brain. Whenever he closes his eyes, he would hear his whining, pitchy voice because of anger; he would see him tearing up.

Although guilty, he did not want to admit to himself that he was wrong in accusing Zach of something he was unsure of, that he was being unjust, unreasonable, because he was a man and a man would never let go of his pride no matter what.

He heaved a deep sigh. Whatever the commotion was in his wing, he thought it was a good distraction for his already disturbed mind. He asked the closest person to him about what was happening, but the boy evaded him and went to the opposite side of the crowd as if he was sickened by his presence. He shook his head and asked the next person, but the boy only looked at him from head to toe and whispered something to his friend before ignoring him completely.

Adam clenched his fist. Maybe it was a bad idea to peer into gossips, but he needed the distraction.

He decided to ask someone one last time before giving it up. The boy answered in a sarcastic tone, "Why don't you see for yourself?"

The crowd split as he walked past them. Adam felt like an Israelite walking in between the huge walls of water after Moses parted the sea. He was too focused on this sensation that he did not hear someone from the crowd call him "bakla."

When he reached the front of the crowd, he was surprised to find himself in front of his own locker door. There, he saw the photo that everyone was gossiping about. His heart jumped. Even from afar, the photo was familiar to him.

He thought — he hoped — that he was mistaken. He took it off from his locker door and scrutinized it closely. He closed his eyes repeatedly, not believing what he was seeing. He wished that the photo would suddenly morph into something else. If he were in a fantasy teleserye, maybe it would have happened; but it did not.

It was their photo: he and Zach, with wide smiles on their faces, sitting beside one another with a wolf stuffed toy in between them, inside a Ferris Wheel gondola.

Suddenly, his hearing became clear. He heard all sorts of whispers, all the snickers and laughter from his schoolmates. He, who was the Alpha of a fraternity, who had scorned all the gays in their school and has pushed them out of their school's premises, was suddenly branded as one. "Bakla," "puta," "hayop," "anak ng demonyo," etc. — all the words that he used to call them names were the same words thrown at him by others — and even by himself.