Tainted Blood

Chapter 20

The sweet smell of dandelions fills her senses as she runs her hands through the soft tips of the long grass. Flowers and fresh grass blew past her on the summer breeze. Her eyes darted to the male in front of her, blue green eyes watching her as she crossed the meadow. The white dress she wore swells around her, her hair brushing against the open back. He hurried his steps to her.

His hand embraced hers, the rough calloses brushing against her palm. Burnt wood and musk enveloped her as he brought her to him. His hands at her waist lifting her up as she kissed him, his lips soft and gentle against hers, the kiss turning devouring, his hand snaking into her hair, his other pushing her into him. He tasted like a forest wood after a rainstorm.

"I love you," his whispers, his hand caressing her cheek, "more than the stars, more than my life as we know it."

"I love you," she answered, bringing his lips to her again, running her hands through his dark locks.

"You are my heart, Alexandria, for without you, I am lost to my darkness. May we find each other in the next life, as we did in this one."

"Elias."

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The house was beautiful against the summer morning, the flowers were in full bloom. He watched as she ran through the long grass, the tips sliding over her slender fingers, the thin silver band gracing it shining as she held a bunch of fresh picked wildflowers. The smell of lavender filled his senses as the golden-haired toddler giggled running after her mother. She quickly scooped her up, planting kisses all over her face before turning her and sending her running towards him, the rattle in her hand fuelling her giggles even further. She squealed as he lifted her up and tickled her, her chest laugh music to his ears.

"Stop torturing the poor thing," the sweet sound of her laugh echoed through him. Her gold-brown hair glistening against the light. Her soft hands slid over his chest as she pulled him in for a kiss.

"Alexandria." He whispered against her mouth, deepening the kiss.

Her lips felt cold against his as he ran his hand over her cheek, as he ran his thumb over it, she dissolved. The whole scene dissolved. The toddler's laughing ceased; his wife, the face he stared at for years. The meadow in front of him was nothing but ash. The porch he was sitting on draped in lilacs was burnt, the smoke rising from it, his hands were covered in blood. His shirt drenched with it. He called out her name.

"Spencer!"

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Fires around them were unquenchable, the heat off them furthering the sweat running down their backs. Metal against metal rang through their ears as swords clashed and orders rang out. She felt him behind her, fighting on, his breath down back as swung around, checking she was there, with him. The chaos around them increased, the ambush came in the dead of night, ripping them from their beds. Behind her, she heard children scream, her head snapped, the two daggers in her hands burning hot as she watched a man rip a child from her mother's eyes. She ran, her body moving before her mind, the golden hair toddler screamed. The dagger flew from her hand, finding it's mark as another assailant crashed into her, the ground was hard against her tired bones. She saw the knife jutting from her body, just as she saw the dagger jutting from the neck of the body next to her.

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"Elizabeth!" he screamed after her, feeling her absence at his back. He watched the knife come down into abdomen as she crashed into the ground, the pain not yet registering. He crashed at her feet.

"No, no, no, no" he chanted.

"I love you," she whispered, "You are my heart, for without you, I am lost to my darkness. May we find each other in the next life, as we did in this one."

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She woke from the dreams in a cold sweat, the rain had stopped, and the sun was pouring in through the damp canvas. She saw him, his face, she smelt his scent, as if she had known it for centuries. She felt the blood on her fingers, the flowers in her hair. "Fuck." She spat, sitting up against the cot, she'd shucked off the cloak in her sleep, desperate to wake from the past. She heard rustling outside of her tent as Jonathon burst in.

"You're awake, finally," he laughed, further moving in, "we're beginning preparations to cross the wall tomorrow." He said, pulling her up, shucking on her cloak and leading her from the tent. In the centre of the courtyard was a small wooden table, on it, maps, weapons list, and patrol times. She could Elias' stare across the table, the blue green eyes staring into her, his face looked paler then how she'd seen it the night before. His hair was dishevelled, his clothes straightened quickly judging but the wrinkles still in it.

"We have a few hours to begin preparations, its confirmed that the patrols are moving up their shift times, we have several hours before the next change which will last for 2 days. They are drawing all trained guards to the capital, the changing patrol is new, not seasoned and can easily be outmanoeuvred." Jonathon began, "We take the time to prepare, we use the same method Spencer did to breach the wall; we wait for the blackout, after that, we aim for Anna's reinforcements in the Favela. I have been in contact via the outside and she is aware of the pressing timeframe and that we are the only ones coming. Use this time sparingly, sharpen your weapons and say your prayers."

Spencer watched as the others began to speak, organising supplies, who would carry what, who would go first and what happens if someone were to fall in the line fire; they were abandoned. She felt Jonathon's stare on her, yet her own was fixed on Elias, whose was fixed on her. She felt the confusion and anger ripple off Jonathon, yet she didn't notice as he moved closer towards her, his hand at her lower back. She watched his eyes drift to the hand on her back, hold there, some unknown emotion crossed Elias' face as he turned and left.

"Can we talk?" Jonathon whispered in her ear, his hand on her back tightening as he lead her from the table to a building on the far side of the yard, old rusted tables knocked on the side. He turned her to him, his eyes stared into her, emotions swimming in them she knew she caused and was about to break.

"Do you believe in soulmates?" she whispered, the question took him back, his eyes widened.

"What?"

"Do-"

"I know what you said, Spence," he swallowed, as if this wasn't the conversation he wanted to be having, "no. I don't. We make our own fate."

There was a silence between them, thick as if it could be cut with a serrated knife. She watched as he held her breath and release it. She braced herself for the words about to leave his mouth.

"I don't know what happened before I found you," he began, Spencer drew in breath to intervene, "please, let me get it out. Before I lose my nerve."

"Johnny." He touched her hand to her cheek, his fingers cold against her skin.

"I know things have changed, I feel it, I can see it," a steadying breath, "you've been through an ordeal, it changed you, how you see the world, and how you see me. I know the things I've done have been for the greater good, but I often think I could have protected you better. I love you, I've always loved you, but I understand things have shifted between us."

"I do love you Johnny."

"I know, I know you do," his hand drops, "I'll always protect you, but-"

"But?"

"I need to go into this with a clear head," he kissed her head, "do what you have to do, I just ask that I don't see it."

"Johnny."

He left with nothing else to say, leaving the phantom kiss on her forehead and a hole in her heart.

"Fuck." she hisses. What the fuck was she doing.