Being Unknown.

Coping & Finally going out.

I would love it if you listened to Car Underwater by Armor For Sleep (If you like screamo listen to Last Words by Ice Nine Kills). This is the song for this chapter, relating to Ourins feelings is most probable. You don't have to, but it would do a great deal for this chapter in relation to the character! Thanks, it's to the right. And for those who don't have any internet or the media won't load, don't worry! Maybe take a screen shot of the song, and re-listen to it later (Don't re-read the chapter, because that's just silly).

Also, I did this on my phone while I was out eating, but it didn't save. I probably had 2,000 on there n I'm so sad right now, so I apologize of the shitty quality!

Also, excuse the typos, I went through the spell-check like 345897345874 times but sometimes I do slid like slide. Adding letters that aren't needed and what not. Forgive meeeee! cx

༼ ・ ౪ ・ ༽༼ ・ ౪ ・ ༽༼ ・ ౪ ・ ༽༼ ・ ౪ ・ ༽༼ ・ ౪ ・ ༽༼ ・ ౪ ・ ༽༼ ・ ౪ ・ ༽༼ ・ ౪ ・ ༽༼ ・ ౪ ・ ༽❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

It's been 2 months since the accident.

I'm slowly wasting away my life, like I didn't have anything going for me. I really didn't except for being a writer, I suppose. I wasn't the best at it, but my English teacher thought otherwise.

It has also infected my social skills; all my friends, gone. After the Kass incident I realized who were and weren't my real friends.

Quil, Pete, Jen, Angel, Shawn.

None of them even made an attempt to see me, which saddened me a bit I guess. Random strangers would show up to my house offering their sorrows, asking how I was doing, and I told them I was coping. This seemed to interest them, but they didn't push it any further.

Walking to the mirror, I noticed the dark bags under my eyes. My previous light blue eyes-- now dull and lifeless. My black hair, now greasy from oil, which showed how much I had cared for myself, and it didn't show much. I haven't taken a shower in 2 weeks, I think.

Right now we're on fall break, so no one has to see the state I am in at the moment, which I'm thankful for, because I knew I would be recognizable. I wasn't even close to my normal happy, outgoing self.

I think I understand a little bit of what Kass was going through, not completely, but somewhat. We've both been through the same thing, cancer. At first I met her on a suicide line, when we were both depressed, but then we re-met on a cancer site chat, where you share your feelings and what not My father died from cancer, so we began talking about our family members, how it affected them and us, and how we controlled our emotions throughout the whole thing.

Jesus Christ, I miss Kassandra so much. She was a great person, with an even better personality. Any time she came into a room, she would most likely brighten it up. Even the shit bags who fucked with her; they were jealous. She had so much going for her, unlike them. She was gorgeous inside and out, it's so hard to find someone like this now a days. 

 I'm pretty sure she also had a scholarship to an important college that she would only bring up if it was needed.

I instantly realized I was nothing without her... nothing. I was the one who protected her, who would do anything for her. Her auburn hair, straight teethed smile, and light hazel eyes popped into my mind as I felt a tear slid down my face.

I understood people think that men are supposed to be strong with deaths, but all the important women in my life are gone, dead, nothing. I wouldn't turn to my old razor, no, I would fight through it like my fathers death. Be his little solider.. Now I realize I should clean up, and get out of the house since 2 months. For the sake of everyone really.. someone may have been worried about me.

10 minutes had passed, and I decided to take a small shower, 10 minutes tops. I laid out my clothes, and took out my White and black sleeved shirt, with the number 69 on the back; Kassandra had gotten it for me for Christmas as a joke, but I really did like this shirt. A sad smile came onto my face, as I collected my black skinny jeans and white converse with the shirt.

Walking to the shower door I turned on the shower and I undressed myself, stepping inside of it. Letting the drops cascade down my slender, but fit figure. It felt good, it was like it was getting rid of some of the stress; not all of it, but a smidge. 

I washed my hair and body, getting rid of the soap. Afterwards I dried myself, and put on my clothes. A normal day for a 'normal' me.

With a small sigh, I walked out of my room like a zombie, more alive than before. "H-honey, is that you? Oh my god, I missed you so much! Being cooped up in that room isn't good for your football career, you kn--"  I frowned.

My mom knew I didn't want that scholarship, after those jocks tormented my girlfriend.. or should I say ex girlfriend. 

"Mom, I'm going out." I murmured, already done with the conversation. 

"I hope you're doing well, sweetheart. Your family missed you.. unlike those fake friends of yours." A small smile appeared on my face, still sad of course.

"I'm coping," I said like it was no big deal, "working on a new me. A new beginning, maybe I'll get through it all.." 

A smile appeared on my moms face, her faded brunette hair complimenting her big brown eyes, "I know you will, I love you," she said as she wrapped her small arms around me, comforting me before I left.

❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

yayayayya, thanks you all. I finally re-did this chapter ty tytyty. 

Follow, Vote, especially voting bcus I may not update ( I don't have a lot of free time on weekdays ), and comment. About anything you want. Relations and what not, feelings. heuheuehuhe ily all, l8r ourphens. (My new nickname for you guys bcus Ourin and Phen, heuheuhe it sounds like orphan wow ok, that's kind of offensive, sorry. but if someone can find a new name for them, tell me in the comments tytyily)