MESSENGER
November 30, 2019
Lore Dominic Alcantara
• online
01:12
KEATON
I may not act like one, pero problemadong problemado na rin ako sa buhay ko.
It's funny how much I advise others while I can't even advise my own fucked-up self.
I joined PH to search for someone just like me. Na problemadong problemado pero ni minsan hindi nagawang sumuko.
To see if it's really is possible. To face such problems and not give up.
To see if there's someone out there who's fighting just like me and never dared give up.
And I found one. But just like me, she's on the edge of giving up too and that's not what I want.
My only goal here was to find someone like me who's struggling in life and help them move forward so I can promise myself that I could move forward, as well, pero kapag umabot sa puntong sumuko sila, susuko na rin ako. Isusuko ko na rin 'tong buhay na 'to.
Just like what I once said to Monday, I've got nothing to lose. Patapon na rin 'tong buhay na 'to pati ang katawan ko na ni pag tayo, hindi na magawa.
But as days pass by I realized that I want nothing more but to help that girl. Make her realize that her life is much more bearable than mine.
In that way she might not think of taking her life ever again and for her to continue living her life the way it was despite the hardships and problems.
Because as much as I want to live a normal life despite the problems, I can't. That's not how my life works.
Hindi puwede.
I just have to accept the fact that I was never born to enjoy this life. I was born to suffer. Suffering that is slowly killing me to bits.
And I hate how I came to a realization that my life is not something I can fight for. Whether I live or die was never up to me.
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