The Most Dysfunctional Family in History

Sh-No? He? Uh, That's My Mentor? Really?!

 After entering the hideout Naruto was confused. "Are you sure this is the right place?"

Itachi raised an eyebrow, "That's a joke right?" The blonde shook his head.

Kisame chuckled, "Too normal?"

Naruto nodded fast, "Yeah, it looks like a huge, but normal home. Not what I was expecting from the base of a criminal terrorist organization."

Kisame laughs, "We remodeled a lot."

He looked around the newly done home. "It looked creepy as hell before, but after switching leaders, this is what it turned into. I prefer it, it shows our permanent change, no longer villains."

Naruto could only smile, 'I guess they were truthful, this won't be a bad thing after all.' Everyone looked up at the sound of footsteps.

Naruto saw a blonde woman walk up, 'Long blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, fabulously done nails, black tank top, and grey sweats. She's very pretty, but my sexy jutsu could compete though.' 'Poor dumbass kit.' 'Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!'

Hearing Kurama's snickering in response, Naruto mentally groaned but focused back on the lady. "Welcome back, safe mission, yeah?"

Naruto instantly froze at the voice, 'HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!' He literally fell back in shock and startled everyone around him.

Itachi kneeled by him, "What's wrong?"

In shock, Naruto merely stuttered and pointed at the blonde, "S-Sh-H-He....huh...?" Kurama laughed his ass off in his head, 'There's your answer kit!!!!'

The tall blonde caught on instantly and went from nice to mean even faster. Yanking the orange-clad blonde clean off the ground by his collar, he glared in his soul. "Listen here, un, I'm no woman! I am a man. You get one time to mistake me, hm. And you've used it...the name's Deidara, yeah."

Dropping the boy, Dei turned to the other two. "Let's go, Leader-sama is waiting."

Staring at the door Naruto couldn't help, but be nervous. 'Inside this room is someone strong enough to lead a group of S-rank criminals. He could kill me in an instant. What if this is a trap? A mistake! A-'

His mental rambling was cut off by a gentle hand on his head.

He turned to surprisingly see Deidara bend to his height. "Second thoughts, hm?" Naruto flinched, 'Busted.'

Dei chuckled. "I thought so, and it's okay. This is a big choice. But that's all it is. A choice. Even if you change your mind while in there, Leader made it a point, that this is fully your choice. No harm will come if you say no."

Naruto stared nervously, "But what if...I'm not good enough to be here...? I was labeled as useless in my-" Dei again cut him off, "We aren't them. We're not your abusive village. You matter here. You are not useless. You never were."

This rocked Naruto to the core and tears bubbled to the surface. Pulling the young boy in a hug, he calmly pets his hair.

"We'll never hurt you. Doubt you. Scare you. None of it. This is a haven. A home. We're here to teach you. Guide you. Protect you. But most of all, love you. Everyone here is a family. Weak or strong, we support each other."

Soft tears trailed from the fox boy's eyes. 'This is what it's like to have someone care...?' "Yeah kit, it is." 'Besides you Ku.'

"I hope you say yes Naruto, hearing your story broke my heart, a child shouldn't go through that."

Naruto shrugged a bit, "I got used to it."