Bandits with Feelings

bandits with feelings (part 4)

  "No." I almost shout. The doctor awkwardly chuckles and he looks at Nick. My hands start shaking like crazy. Nick looks at me. "I can go if you want." He says. My mouth freezes and I lose the ability to speak. "I'm just examining your shoulder." The doctor reassures. Nick stands up and puts his hand on the door handle. "Please don't go, I don't like it when people open the door between examination." The doctor says. Nick looks at me and I shrug. He sits back down. I glance at the doctor who's waiting patiently. Slowly, my fingers inch towards the hem of my shirt and lift it up. I feel the cold breeze whip through my stomach. I lift the shirt over my head and immediately feel super exposed.

I hug my body, trying to cover as much as I can. Nick's eyes flicker towards my bra and my tattoos. I have 4 on my chest. I have a bird of paradise on my ribcage and a quote on my collarbone. 'With time, I have realized, Love is a crime.' The rest are tiny little ones. My favorite tattoo is the one across my thigh. It's another quote saying, 'Behind every crime is a story of sadness.'

Nick looks away and the doctor examines my shoulder. For some reason, I want him to look at me. At my body and my scars. I want to understand how much I've been through. But there's a tiny voice in my head that's telling me that there's another reason behind why I want him to see me like this. "So, this looks to be infected already. I'll give you the medications, but I'll just clean it up a little, okay?" The doctor informs. Nick finally looks right at me. All my anger leaves my body and my heart starts having a seizure. He doesn't break eye contact, I do. He looks at me apologetically and I glance back at him. I've said more in the last hour than I did in two days.

The doctor puts some alcohol on my shoulder and I feel the burn. I try not to wince as it stings. He pats my cut with a wet towel and wraps a bandage around it. The bandage settles awkwardly under my armpit. It itches and is super tight. I put my shirt back on and I sigh, full of relief. The doctor continues talking about medications and gives me a small sheet of paper. I can't read his messy writing, but Nick wraps his arm around my shoulders again. I let him, feeling lightheaded and dizzy. "I'm sorry, Lara." He says into my hair. "It's okay," I mutter, not really meaning it. We walk to the front desk where Nick 'pays' for my visit.

We go to his motorbike, where he leans against it. "I shouldn't have forced you to do something like that." He apologizes. I look down at my feet. "I ain't really good with people. I'm used to being demanding and direct, after robbing all these places." Nick continues. I look up at him. "It's okay." I murmur. "Can I hug you?" He asks. I look at his brown eyes and he holds out his arms out. I want to hug him, I do. He's been trying his best to take care of me all this time.

Hair falls in my face and I step towards him. He's seen me half-naked; he's basically seen me at my worst. He envelops me in a tight hug. I put my hands around his back and I smell his musky cologne. I put my head on his chest and we stay like that for a while. His arm rests along my lower back and his other hand stays on my hair, his fingers brushing through it. I feel so calm and almost happy.

I let my tears go. Three years of holding it all in, and it finally comes out now. My body feels warm all over and I don't want to let go. "Let it go." Nick keeps saying. I sniff and I feel like a hundred pounds have been lifted from my shoulders. For the first time in a long time, I feel safe in his arms.

I let go of him, earlier than I wanted to. I look at his eyes and at all the small freckles on his face. "I don't want to sound creepy, but you looked so hot in that bra," Nick mutters and I let out a tiny giggle. We get back on his motorcycle. Before Nick puts on his helmet, I lean forward and give him a peck on the cheek. His cheeks go rosy and he looks back at me. "Thanks." He mutters. I wrap my arms around his waist once more, this time, tighter than ever. He drives to the pharmacy and I let myself rest my head on his back. I feel his long breaths along my cheek and through the helmet. We pick up my medications and then go home.