grainy - shawnmin

15

     "Do you wanna talk ab-" Nick started.
     "No!" Shawn screamed. The two were hurrying out of the building to continue their long-ish walk back to their hotel. Every silent step was painfully awkward. 

      Nick wanted to ask every question possible. "How long have you known? Is he your boyfriend? Is this even happening? Why didn't you tell me? Are you into me too?" But he knew that he couldn't keep up with whatever the hell just happened. Not to mention the fact that Shawn had the angriest look on his face and was walking extremely fast. 

     "Hey, man. I promise I didn't see anything." Nick choked out, tiptoeing around anything touchy. His attempts weren't too successful, though. Shawn glared up at Nick and rolled his eyes
   "Yeah right, dude," Shawn said creakily. "I know you didn't. But you heard everything." He ran his hand through his hair and huffed. "I just wanted to come here and chill. Maybe go to the beach, maybe go to some parties. I don't know. I wanted to have fun but instead, I ended up having passionate make-out sessions with a dude." 

       "Hey. It could be worse. At least..." Nick said. "Uh, well. At least the dude wasn't all hairy and manly. Honestly, he looked kinda like a chick, if she was all artsy..." 

        Shawn continued to glare. "Not everything has to be a joke, asshat!"

      "Jesus, I was just trying to cheer you up." Nick frowned. "So you're going to keep secrets from me and then on top of that, be a dick to me?"

     Shawn's steps slowed to a stop. "I'm freaking out."

    "Shawn, listen. I know I always give you shit. And honestly, I'm a little weirded out by you right now, but it doesn't mean you can't tell me stuff like this." Nick put his hand on Shawn's shoulder.
     Shawn started his walk again, only this time, his pace was much slower. Nick ran to keep up.
     "It was a one-time thing," Shawn said over his shoulder and wiped his mouth for what seemed like the hundredth time. 

      "I think we should get different rooms for the rest of the week." The idea of Shawn and him popped in Nick's head, which was something he had never thought about, something he never wanted to think about. He shook his head.

       Shawn sighed and wiped his face. "I don't want you to think of me like that," He started, "as I said, it was a one-time thing. I don't even know how it happened. One minute I was at a party making out with a hot girl but I was so fucked up apparently the girl was... Jimin." 

     "Are those hickeys from him?" Nick said. Shawn immediately covered his neck with his hands, face burning even more. 

  "Look, he's... different, okay? All the boys back home are all weird and gross. I'm not going to say Jimin's like a girl, but he definitely isn't like those other boys back home. I would never date a dude, hell no. The thought of it has been in my head since the beginning of high school. And every disgusting thought is because of our dumbass peers"

     Nick nodded and opened the door to the hotel. They remained in the tackily decorated lobby as Shawn resisted spilling his guts about this enticing man. Yet, Jimin was the most enticing person he'd ever known. 

     "I definitely have never thought things like that towards you. That's... gross. This guy is just like a mind fuck," Shawn continued. 

    "You've been really uninterested in all your girlfriends." Nick pointed out. 

   "I mean, that's just cause I hate PDA. And they were all so whiny. Ugh." Shawn rolled his eyes.

    "I guess?" Nick said. "But have you ever even really liked a girl? Like, for real." 

    "Yes. Yeah, why wouldn't I?" Shawn cried. "Olivia, duh."

     "Then why didn't you take things farther? If she was the 'love of your life', then why did you push her away?" Nick folded his arms.

    "Because I wasn't used to it," Shawn said. "I know I'm straight. I was drunk as hell. Maybe I'll go talk to Olivia again and pick up where we left off. Plus I'll never see him again so... maybe it's f-fine." Shawn hesitated and cringed with that thought, but if cutting Jimin off and picking up Olivia would feel better, then maybe it's what needed to happen. 

     Confusion was something Shawn couldn't deal too well with. Whether it was his trouble getting close to people or figuring out why tenor clef looked the way it did, he ended up giving up. And ving up just seemed so easy, especially for a stranger in a weird city. A hard-on over a cute boy wasn't worth being so humiliating that his best friend wouldn't sleep in the same room as him. Nevertheless, the two walked to their room, ready to collapse and drown their worries in deep sleep. 

    Nick took the key out to open the door. With every swipe, the light blinked red instead of the green. Nick and Shawn looked at each other and grimaced.