DEAD INSIDE | XXXTENTACION

tres

oh my god, i can't believe he's here, i didn't even realize that he had a son. now i knew why dwayne looked so damn familiar.

my mother gave him a hug and then we all went to the dining room to eat.

i sat next to my mom while jahseh and dwayne sat on the opposite side.

"so how do the two of you know each other?" dwayne asked

"she's in all of my classes." he simply said

"ooh that's good, now summer has someone to talk to. she's always so lonely and doesn't have any friends." my mother squealed

"i-i have friends. she's just exaggerating." i spoke up, giving her the 'you just embarrassed me in front of them look'

right now i really wanted to punch my mother in the face, but you know what it's not worth it. 

"mhm." she muttered, god this really isn't the time.

"haha, anyways why don't you and jahseh go upstairs while me and stacy catch up?" dwayne offered, jahseh stood up and waited for me to get up.

"sure" and then i left the table and followed him upstairs.

he plopped himself on the bed while i observed the room, it had black walls like mine. 

emo.

he had posters of nirvana, iron maiden, cannibal corpse, slayer, and slipknot.

emo.

damn i didn't think he'd have this good of a taste in music tho.

"you listen to heavy metal?" i asked, he was reading a book.

"yeah, fits my mood. do you?" he said turning the page of his book

"mhm, i'm surprised that you don't have a metallica poster."

"metallica was heavy metal in the eighties, now it's just pure batshit. " he said

"agreed." i sighed, it was silent for a little bit. i just stood there looking around the room.

"come." he sat up and patted a seat next to him, he sat his book down on the floor.

"oh no its fine i-"

"that wasn't a question that was an order."

damn okay

i walked to the bed and sat next to him, he just stared at me. like i was a painting or something. i just stared down at my lap.

"i-is there something wrong?" i asked

"was that paper you dropped earlier in class one of your songs?" he then asked, completely ignoring my question.

"y-yes." i answered

"you write songs?" 

i nodded, "shit thats cool, i write songs too."

"r-really? can i hear one of them?" i asked, beaming up a bit.

"sure."

he grabbed his guitar from under the bed, he started strumming with his guitar pic.

then he began singing.  

Na, na, na, na, na

Na, na, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, na

Depression and obsession don't mix well(Na, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, na, na)

I'm poisoned and my body don't feel well(Na, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, na, na)I ate herInside and out, I feel my stomach turnin'Make out hillWhere we met we let our lips do all the talkin'And now I'm hooked and...

(Na, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, na, na)Depression and obsession don't mix well (Well)Hollywood motelsHell, I think I'm just obsessed with you

Depression and obsession don't mix well(Na, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, na, na)Hollywood motelsHell, I think I'm just obsessed with you

Na, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, naNa, na, na, na, na

wow. his voice is beautiful.

he put the guitar down, the tension was thick as hell. you could cut it with a knife.  we locked eyes with each other. he scooched closer to me and i scooched closer to him. 

i leaned in and our lips met each other for a quick second until i heard a knock on his door.

we instantly pulled away and i stood up, he just sat there smiling like an idiot.

aw.

no, i don't like him like that.

it was just a kiss.

a kiss doesn't mean anything.