DEAD INSIDE | XXXTENTACION

cinco

the next day

i was currently in the shower, humming some music.

it was 'look at me!' by this guy named 'xxxtentacion'

he had such a strange name, i know tentacion means temptation in spanish. but what the hell do the x's stand for?

porn temptation?

i got out of the shower, i glanced at my old pills. they were on my dresser, it was adderall.

"summer, you've been clean for a year. don't screw this up." i reminded myself

not once did i think about relapsing, not at all. i promised my mother i'd never-

then there was a knock on the door, probably my mom.

i put on my towel and opened the door, it was jahseh.

i flinched in shock, causing my towel to fall to the ground.

"sup mamas." he smirked, he scanned my body. he looked intrigued.

ew.

i quickly put on my towel, i was internally blushing.

"j-jahseh what the hell are you doing here? in my house? and stop looking" i asked

"your mom sent me to tell you to hurry up and i'm giving you a ride today." he covered his eyes

"okay i'll be there in a minute. bye!" i shut the door and leaned my back on it, god that was embarrassing.

he saw me naked.

naked.

i put on my one of my dad's shirts and some old sweatpants.

i don't bother doing my hair or anything because i simply do not have the motivation or energy. 

i also worry about being labeled as a "slut" "whore" "hoe" if i dress up cute for school. i don't want that to be my reputation.

for the last 3 years, i've been a nobody. 

and it's going to stay that way.

i headed downstairs and i found jahseh eating MY lucky charms. that was the last of it, i checked yesterday.

"jahseh let's go, i'm ready." i sighed and grabbed an apple

"ight ma." he finished the cereal and put the bowl in the sink.

i grabbed the keys from the counter and handed it to him.

we went outside and i saw his car. he had a bmw i8

jesus.

he opened the car door for me, and i just slid in.

before jahseh closed the door, he grabbed the seatbelt and buckled me in. 

what is he doing?

"jahseh, i'm not a child. i know how to put on my own seatbelt. why are you doing all of this?" i rolled my eyes

"your mother said that you don't care about your own wellbeing, so from now on. i will."