Catchin' feelings - Roger Taylor

Chapter 9

Song: 'California Dreamin'' of 'The Mama's & The Papas' ( really don't have anything with the chapter to do but darling, izza mood ) and also 'Gimme Shelter' by 'The Rolling Stones' ( bc it's so freaking good and also izza mood )

*December 1975*

You could tell christmas was coming, the stores was full of christmas decorations. School had been hectic, it was the last year and we had exams most of the time. It had felt good to catch up with Ava and the ones I hadn't seen for summer even though the rumors about me dating Roger had spread. Some jocks used to scream after me but I didn't mind. Me and Roger still where a thing and we saw each other so often were able to, sometimes he would come and pick me up from school. We often had discussions about life or politics, we played board games and drinked tea, sometimes we went out but the most important, we had amazing sex.

 Roger and Brian never talked with each other and Freddie and John were stressed out, they still worked on their next album but it wasn't a success when two of the band members didn't even gave each other a glance. Lately I had started to feel ill, I used to throw up at the bathroom and felt more tired than usual. 

“I bought you this. You don't need to take it, but maybe just consider it.” Mary handed me a box, a pregnancy test. “How many times do I need to tell you? I'm not pregnant.” she wrinkled her eyebrows and put her hand on my arm. “Okay. But you can always take it anyway, just to be sure.” I took the box out of her hand. “I will, I will.” I paused “In fact, I'm gonna take it right now.” I walked in to the bathroom and started read the instructions. I didn't think I was pregnant but still, a little part of me was afraid Mary was right. 

“Two means pregnant. One means not.” I said, reading at the box. Mary that had the test, gave me a gaze and then looked down at the test again. “Oh Louise, I'm sorry but-” I pulled the test and looked at it myself, I did trust Mary but I wanted to see it with my own eyes. To my dismay I saw the two purple lines. Mary's voice repeated in my head "two means pregnant" My stomach turned and my legs started to shiver. I was afraid, what was I supposed to do? I started hyperventilate and digged my nails as deep in my hands I could. “What do you feel?” Mary asked in a hug. Stupid question. “I don't know, I haven't finished my degree and I really don't want to drop out. Like I'm only twenty? On the other hand, I think I want to keep it. I love Roger and I've thought of having a baby multiple times. But I'm scared, what if me and Rog end up like mum and dad? ” I sobbed. Mary stroked her hand over my back and said “You can do both. But only if you have the energy, but you shouldn't quit uni, I know how much you love it. There are solutions for taking the baby out, you know that right?” overwhelmed by all of this I cried out even louder. “And of course you won't end up like mum and dad and even if you would, dad is fine now! He's living a wealthy life with the doggies.” I wiped my nose. “Have you told Freddie?” Mary handed me a tissue before answering. “Yes. I told him a year ago, when he asked about my parents. He was very understanding actually. Afterwards we went to visit dad and it felt nice to don't carry it inside.” “Okay, maybe I'll tell Roger too. I've meet his parents so probably he'll want to meet mine.” 

“Roger I have something important to tell you.” I said on the phone, a little bit calmer now. “Sure. Should I come by around five?” his voice sounded vulnerable and soft and I couldn’t do anything but miss him, even if we were about to see each other soon. “Okay Rog. ” I said and hung up. 

Laying on the couch, I heard the crackling sound of the door opening, Roger had his own keys so I didn't thought it was weird. I saw his silhouette entering the room and dropped the bomb immediately. “Roger I'm pregnant. ” Once again I caught myself sobbing  “And I want to keep the baby. And I'm not going to give up my studies, and if that means I'm gonna be pregnant in school I don't fucking care. I love you Roger.” Roger sat himself besides me. “I love you too Louise. This is your choice and I totally support whatever you choose. If you want to keep it, we'll make that!” touched of his words, I started to cry even more. I leaned my head against his shoulder. As always when you lead your head against a shoulder, it hurt but it was still cosy. He smelled smoke and his shirt was  new-washed. I leaned in for a kiss, cupping his face in my hand. He tasted nice, like he always did. The feeling of his tongue against mine made me calm, he was there and was going to be, right til the end.