"you love me?" they asked.
"i hate you!"
"you love this dick!" they said, pulling out their southern parts.
"no! stop! please, i'll do anything!"
"that's right you will. you'll also be taking this, too," they said, filling me up painfully.
"stop! it hurts! please!"
screaming, i tried to push them away but sadly, i was met with a stinging slap to the face. one had the front while the other had the back. i was for sure that the pain was going to take over me and i was right. passing out, they had full control of me.
waking up, i saw that i was on the ground... stretched out? i tried moving my arms but they were yanked back to whatever i was attached to. i tried to move my legs, only to have the same result. they came into the room, cackling as they saw my struggle. i looked down to see that they were nude. tears welled up in my eyes, knowing what they wanted. i tried to pull myself out but the shackles on me were too strong compared to my small strength.
"jhené, what should we do today?" one of them asked.
"how do you know my name?" i croaked.
"we know everything about you, daffodil, even though you may not know us.... yet," the other said.
"let me go, please. i thought you got what you wanted. i swear i won't tell a soul," i pleaded.
"no, no, no," the first one teased. "you're too precious."
they started to kiss my neck as i reluctantly moaned lowly in pleasure. what am i doing? i hate them. i kneed one of them when they got down to my area. he quickly became angry as he slammed into me with no kind of prep....
"ahhhh!" i screamed, jerking awake.
after i steadied my breath, i looked around to find myself in school. the teacher looked at me, her facial expression equalled worry. seeing everyone staring at me, i ran out of the room. wandering into the library, i sat at a lonely table in the back. perfect. i began to cry as i remembered the nightmare. i took a book and buried my face in it. i wasn't reading it, i just needed a coverup. when i was done, i put the book back & left. i looked in my back pocket to find my phone. i texted mila and told her where i was before she started to bitch on me. the hallway was filled with a sea of people as i tried to wiggle my way through everyone. i got some dirty looks from those who were "popular". i rolled my eyes at their ignorance and kept going until i found my locker. everything was normal until i saw him. breathtaking appearance. but people aren't always what they seem. he walked up to me, slightly smiling. the look on his face spelled out confusion and that's when it hit me. he's new.
......
jacob's his name. he's a sweetheart but i still am gonna keep my distance. no one will hurt me again because i've learned that anyone can turn on you.
"so, jhené, what's your favorite color?" he asked innocently.
"blue," i replied.
"when's your birthday?"
"march 16th."
"do you speak any spanish?"
"is this 20 questions?" i asked.
"i just wanna get to know you," he said.
"fine."
"why are you so quiet?"
"i don't even know you. what would we even talk about?"
"anything. like... how old are you?"
"16."
"cool. i'm 16, too. i like you," he said, giggling.
that caught me off guard. my usual bluntness & rude attitude drives people away. but not jacob. i wonder why but i don't ask him. i smile faintly at him as he beamed at me. even though i wanna keep my distance, it'll be pretty hard considering that i think i like him, too. he's so innocent and seems to be pretty naive.
he tells me about how he was a loner at his old school and how he thought that, hopefully, this school would be better. he's a straight hippie. his love of peace and strange clothing gave himself away. his positive outlook on everything did, too. i guess opposites do attract. he told me how he'd wander the halls everyday because of what happened in his classes. we had something in common. he had one close friend who turned on him, too. just not in the way mine turned on me. his life wasn't easy but he never tried to portray it that way. the love he had for everyone inspired me but for a few minutes. hate and fear still dominate my heart, and not even precious little jake could stop that. he has no idea.
.......
coming back from school, tinashe wanted to come over but i didn't want her to. i was going to be doing something important. something that would take up all my time and attention. i wanted to have nothing to do with anyone but me and my lyrics.
"Lani Kai was nice
Turquoise seas and ocean breezes
Loving you was nice
But it's a new day, a new season
I've been sad inside
And he could see it, picked up your pieces
We are just alive
And alright, alright, alright
He's a wanderer
He's a wanderer, baby
He's a wanderer
He's a wanderer..."
for jacob.
