waking up with your child is an amazing feeling. it's like looking at another you, regardless of gender. getting off the couch, i looked out the windows to see mila & my parents' cars out there. shit. i take the sleeping josiah & go to my room, locking the door behind me. i wonder if they saw josiah or not under the cover. if they did, this is tinashe's little cousin that's visiting for the week. then i could keep him here for a week without any suspicions. i could just say that i offered to babysit because her [imaginary] boyfriend came back from the army & she didn't want any distractions from him. honestly, that doesn't sound like anything i'd every believe but you never know with the family i was raised with. but since i have that out of the way, here's a good question.
should i go to school?
i mean this is probably the only time that i get to have my son with me without everyone finding out or wondering about him. personally, i want as much time as i can possibly get with him in my own house. i don't think that i should have to drive all over town to my nana's house to have access to him without people up my ass or down my throat about it. believe it or not, it's annoying. if i go, then i won't be spending the time that i want to with jojo. but if i don't, then i'll have so much work to make up then everyone [teachers] will want to know what happened to me or if i was sick and everything else when it's really none of their business. i wasn't here & now i am so worry about what's in front of you and let the past be the past. then i have parents. they're going to want to know where i was, too. ugh. forget this, i'm not going. since when do i value something i hate over the jewel of my heart? never. that's when.
...........
i stayed in my bedroom all morning, telling my parents that i was sick and they believed me and went on about their day. josiah woke up around 9 and after i got him all cleaned up and settled, we just played around all day and chilled. but then it was around 4:15 when i got an unexpected visitor. jacob. he scared the life out of me when i saw him through my window. he almost got hit with a bat. the bat i keep under my bed at all times. if it wasn't for his signature puff, he probably would have head trauma & few broken bones. anyways, where was i? oh, yes.
"what the hell are you doing in my house?!" i screamed at him.
he winced at my tone of voice but proceeded to sound as innocent as possible while basically breaking into my room.
"i came to see you. you didn't come to school & i wondered about you so i used my resources to find you," he said proudly.
"so you're a stalker..."
"no, silly," he said with a chuckle. "i used the directory to find your house. i knew you'd be here."
he looked around with a smug look on his face until his eyes landed on josiah. his face lit up, femininely squealing, looking like he couldn't contain himself if he wanted to.
"who is that adorable child?" he squeaked.
"josiah, tinashe's cousin," i lied fluently.
"awwww, can i hold him?" he cooed with his arms already stretched out.
"sure."
that's all it took to have little jojo scooped up in jacob's arms. he spun him around, talked to, and made faces at the child in his attempt to make him laugh. it worked for about 10 seconds. then josiah realised that it wasn't me doing those things to him and he cried. jacob quickly gave him back & looked at him with a sudden sadness. i felt bad for jacob so i gave josiah back to him with a bottle. he fed him happily, gazing down at him with a parent's adoration. when he was done, i let him burp jojo & rock him to sleep. when he was officially asleep, i sat jacob down on my bed & we talked for a while.
"please don't do that to anyone else," i warned him.
"do what?" he asked, confused.
"break in," i deadpanned.
"i didn't break in!" he wailed, obviously offended.
whatever he's offended about is beyond me because he kinda did go through my window into my house without my permission.
"since when do people just go into other people's house like it's nothing?" i said bluntly.
"since I was born, that's when," he said, smiling at his snarky response.
"yeah, sure, country boy," i laughed.
"i actually came from the city, thank you," he rolled his eyes.
"oh, boo hoo. take a joke, jake," i shrugged.
"guess what?"
"what."
"chicken butt!" he said, screaming with laughter.
"shhhhhh! for one, jojo is sleeping and two, it wasn't that funny so chill."
"oh right. sorry jojo," he said disregarding the last part.
"anyways," i said changing the subject before it became awkward.
"have you ever been to a house party? because these 2 boys -- rayan & trey, i think -- are supposed to be having one this wednesday," he said enthusiastically.
that stopped my whole world. he had to go. i wanted to push him out of the window he came out of but i was frozen in place as jacob rambled on about the upcoming party.
"hello," jacob said, waving a hand in front of my face. "you still there?"
"jacob, it's time for you to leave," i spat out.
"but i just g--"
"but nothing. leave. unlock the front door and grace yourself with the presence of my front yard."
he frowned, going downstairs to leave. the last party i went to was a disaster. i was sort of naive & somewhat innocent like jacob. i searched the room and found the song i made for the last house party that i went to.
"...So what you waitin' on (aw yeah)
What you playin' for (aw yeah)
I got my DJ playing your favorite song
We ain't got nothing to do in the morning
This party bout to keep goin'
Go 'head and do what you wanna (aw yeah)
And we gone have a party at the crib
Everything you like
Go and get your friends
Maybe ya'll should come by
And we gone turn it up all night
And we gone turn it up all night..."
how i wish i would've never turned up at that house party...
