The Wizard's Herbarium: The Wolf Child

Part 44

The mortgage for the restaurant got approved in the end, and Colt was grateful. Not only did he have a place to bring in money, but he had a place to live in the meantime. His original plan had been to sleep at the restaurant while he did renovations - just some simple things like applying fresh paint and demolishing the outdated bar. He might have been able to teach himself how to cook again without his eyesight, it wasn't difficult and Colt was already familiar with the ingredients and he had the knife skills, but renovations were different. He wasn't super human, and no amount of practice would make him comfortable using a saw or painting blind. This realization crashed down on him as he was listening to Myles in the middle of explaining some legal jargon that Colt didn't have much hope in understanding.

Myles didn't know about his eyesight, or loss of it. His friend also didn't know that it had taken Colt a little over thirty minutes to dial the number from the local shop in town, refusing help even though the cashiers offered to dial the number for him. His ex-wife didn't know about the change in his life either, and Colt didn't even know if he wanted her to know, but the weight of it suddenly seemed too much.

"Colt?" Myles was saying through the line. "Hey, you there?"

The words welled up in Colt's throat without his permission to spill past his lips before he could stop it. "I can't see, Myles. I'm blind and it might be a condition that I live with for the rest of my life."

There was a long pause and the ever-present background noise of shuffling papers that accompanied their conversations had ceased. It was like vomit as the words continued, his mouth taking Myles' silence as permission to keep on trucking.

"It was the fires. A forest fire ripped in close to town and we had to evacuate, but I was caught in it and I -" The words that fell out all at once as though someone had cranked a water tap on high, dried up just as quick, leaving his tongue feeling rough, like sandpaper. Though his mouth had stopped, his brain continued on unfiltered. He'd left a woman to die, heard the shrill screams cut through the air as she burned alive. His stomach dropped as though the floor had opened up from under him. Getting into the kitchen and cooking again, even without his eyesight were nothing but distractions from that trauma. He'd been afraid to stop for even a second, and continue to outrun the horror of it all. Guilt. Helplessness. Fear. They all swirled around in his stomach and made him feel like puking. This must have been what it felt like to go insane.

"Colt? It doesn't sound like you're okay," Myles said, then his tone suddenly angry, which happened when he felt useless. "I told you that going there all on your own was a bad idea. I'm worried about you, we all are. Why don't you come back home?"

He'd already been through this. Colt didn't want to go back to the city either. He was in the process of building something for himself, and he owed it to himself to at least try.

Colt took a breath, as though the action could center himself. Each time the thought of leaving the forest brought up a new form of anxiety for him. He liked this place. In all his travels, he hadn't found a single one like it. The forest here was mysterious and terrifying and wonderful all at once.

"I'm okay, Myles," he said to his friend, not for the first time. "I'm just - you know - overwhelmed, a little scared, maybe. I had plans to renovate the new restaurant a bit before relaunching, but now I can't even do that. If there was more money, I'd hire someone, but I can't."

"Sounds like you're worried about your reputation more than anything," Myles said.

"What do you mean?"

"You've always been a perfectionist. Even before you opened Nero, everything had to be perfect. Remember how many fights you got into with your seniors in the kitchen because you felt like they weren't doing a good enough job? And don't get me started with how you were like after Nero opened for business. You're a crazy guy who holds himself to crazy standards. I don't... I don't really know what to say to you about what you're going through, but I know you and I know you'll overcome anything. But are you sure that at least some of the frustration you're feeling now isn't because you're expecting too much of yourself?"

Expecting too much of himself? He decided to open the restaurant because he'd been expecting too much of himself in the city. In his new restaurant he wanted to cook simple food. Homegrown food. The kind of food your grandmother made for you. And the kind of food that the locals here wanted to eat. Simple. That was all. Yet, his pride wouldn't allow him to open without a few minor renovations, such as a paint job and new sign for outside. Sure, he certainly wasn't expecting nearly as much as he'd been in the past, but considering his situation and not being able to see, Colt was still expecting a great deal of himself.

"See? You know I'm right," Myles said. "Slow down, take it easy. Where are you staying?"

"The restaurant," Colt said.

"All by yourself? Colt." Myles' tone was reminiscent of a parent scolding a child. A tone that Colt wasn't much of a fan in the first place.

"All by myself. Myles, I'm an adult. I think I can make choices for myself."

"I can make time to drive out there to check on you sometime next week."

"Come on. We're not that close. We've always been business acquaintances."

"Well, when you call me at work, my place of business to cry like a child, I think that pushes us more into the friend territory than acquaintance territory."

Colt smiled and shook his head.

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Colt got the keys to the restaurant. This was his second time receiving keys to his own establishment. When he'd gotten the keys to Nero, his wife and his closest friends at the time had all been with him to celebrate. It was a big moment, followed by an even bigger night of partying. Back then he was a young chef determined to make it to the top. In many ways, he'd been as successful as he'd hoped. Nero received business and positive reviews the entire time Colt had owned it. He had never reached celebrity chef stardom where he appeared on TV all the time, but he'd known that wasn't realistic. Still, he'd made quite a name for himself and it had been great.

This time, there was no one around to cheer behind him as Grant handed the keys over. It was quiet, and in its own little way, perfect. A quiet start to what he hoped would be an equally quiet career.

Colt felt Grant's hand stay enclosed around the keys for just a moment too long. Colt waited patiently, giving the other chef and his wife a moment. The tiny restaurant in town became known to tourists and locals for its wifi. That wasn't a place any owner hoped their restaurant would be in the future. A part of Colt felt for Grant as the other obviously had been a chef, or at least a cook, who had lost his way. The other part of Colt, the business owner side of him, recognized that people treated their food seriously and if the food, and in turn the people, aren't treated with respect, then the restaurant is doomed. Simple, honest and fresh cooking will win out over laziness every time.

"We'll be coming around to eat, you know," Grant said, finally releasing the keys. "You better do right by the place."

"I will," Colt agreed. "This town has grown on me. I hope to add to the rich community here."

"It's time for us to rest," Grant's wife said. "I'm looking forward to retirement and spending long days with my husband. Working together at the restaurant had been fun, but I'm ready for long days at the beach or cuddled inside reading books in the winter. Thank you, Colt. Let us know if you need anything and we will be back for the grand opening."