13th of September, 2011
Dear Diary,
Today I had a lazy day and stayed in my cozy onezie all day, you know the monkey one? I sat about and watched anime for most of the day but I decided it would be a good idea to dance for a break. So I put on Nyan cat, and as i was dancing about I banged my leg off of my radiator it really hurt! Also I did this really loud fart that smelt so bad i thought i was going to be sick. If someone had walked in they probably would have needed a gas mask.
22nd of September, 2011
Dear Diary,
Today I came up with a great idea for a TV show. It would be about my brother and I. I mean what could go wrong with that? We could just set cameras up about the house so people can see all the fun stuff that happens, like when I try to steal his food and he goes 'Mine!' in a really girly voice. Also the way we call each other like 'Come get breakfast you lazy bum!'
25th of September, 2011
Dear Diary,
Has this ever happened to you? You find someones profile and are like He's so cute! so you start a conversation with them this is how ours went.
'Hi'
'Hey cutie, whatchu doin'?' and inside your all like He finds me cute? and are all happpy.
'Nothing much, you're really cute! Wanna Cam?'
'I don't have a webcam :('
'Aww, okay. Let's meet up!'
'Where do you live?'
'London, same location as you!'
'Sorry, I don't live in London anymore.'
'Are you avoiding me?'
'That's not me in the photo. That's just some tomboy i found on google images...'
'Wait, what?! You're posing as a GIRL? Why would you do that?'
'I don't know! Nowadays, girls fall for girly-looking guys so I thought...'
'Youre kidding right? Show me what you look like. I promise I wont judge. You're probably better looking that the person you were pretending to be anyway. Have some confidence!'
He sent a photo and it was really horrible and i was like What the fuck? an threw my laptop on to my bed. I also realised my profile says paris for some weird reason so i'll hae to change that.
30th of September, 2011
Dear Diary,
Today would have been a great episode for a TV show. My brother was singing Bad Romance and it was really bad. This morning my brother came into my room and said 'Nipple Wake Up!' I scratched my butt and he was shouted 'Eww' Then stuck his feet in my face, then said 'Come downstairs and have breakfast you lazy bum.' My brother went downstairs and put on his Pucca slippers fuck the what, while i got dressed. When i came downstairs I was like Where are my slippers?
So i went to the kitchen and asked my brother 'Hey butt! Where are my slippers?'
He said 'Slippers? Hmm nope haven't seen them.' followed by a girly laugh. I seached up and down for my slippers when i eventually found them, in the toilet. I came back into the kitchen and my brother said 'Hmm what?'
I said ' You did this didn't you'
He giggled 'umm I don't know what your talking about'
I sighed sat down at the table and looked at my breakfast. Salad? 'This is?'
'Your breakfast, eat it.' He was eating calerole 'Mmn Yummy' I tried to steal some and he did a very girly 'Mine!' I threw a bit of cucumber at him so he threw a bit of meat. I slapped him with my wet slipper an he slapped me with his Pucca ones which really hurt we ended up crying. Then the doorbell rang.
