t h i r t y - f i v e

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song : it's not living (if it's not with you) by the 1975

perla's pov :

"grayson, stop! i have to go to the bathroom." i laugh

"where's nova?" he asks and looks around

my eyebrows and nose scrunch up in confusion and i scan the beach, not seeing any track of her.

"you think ethan did something?" grayson asks

he points at ethan and i see alison splashing him with water.

"no. he's busy with miss perfect."

sighing, i wave off grayson and walk into the girls bathroom.

"holy fuck, this place is dirty." i laugh to myself

right when i'm about to walk into a stall, i hear soft whimpers and sniffles in the stall next to me. i bend down to check if anyone is in there and a small gasp leaves my mouth.

"nova?" i question

the sniffles stop and she brings her feet up to her chest, thinking i won't see.

"nova. open the door." i knock

she doesn't answer for a long period of time but eventually she opens up and falls right into my arms.

"hey, hey. what's wrong?" i ask worriedly

she falls onto the ground and i cuddle up next to her, laying her down onto my lap. i run my hands through her hair, hoping she calms down because i've seen ethan do this when she has panic attacks.

"novs. what's wrong?" i whisper

"i c-can't do this anymore." she cries

"do what?"

"this! loving ethan! i mean for god's sake perla. i'm in love with him now. i don't even like him at this point. i'm fucking in love with ethan. my best friend! i'm never going to be able to tell him because he's so in love with his girlfriend. girlfriend!" she yells

she sobs into my lap and i run my hands through her hair, hoping she would calm down.

grayson comes out of the corner of the restroom and he sits down with me.

"i heard everything." he says

he also runs his hands through her hair and i chuckle.

"what?" he smiles

"you're in the girl's bathroom."

nova laughs into my lap and grayson points at her.

"she laughed! keep being stupid!" he encourages

i slap him on the arm and nova laughs even harder, making us smile.

nova's pov :

"now, can you please stay with us?" perla begs

i look over at grayson and he pouts. laughing, i nod my head and they jump up in excitement.

"hey guys!"

we turn around to see alison and i smile at her but perla and grayson glare. i elbow them and they both frown.

"hey." they roll their eyes

alison shuffles with her feet and i can't help but examine her figure. no wonder ethan loves her. she has a perfect personality and a perfect body.

everything i don't have.

"nova!" alison laughs

"o-oh. sorry." i smile sadly

"ethan was asking for you." she points behind me

turning around, i see ethan playing with a couple of rocks and throwing them into the ocean from time to time.

"oh. thanks!" i smile and wave off alison

"please be nice." i whisper to perla and grayson

they glare disgustingly but fake a smile once they see alison. i laugh and walk away, rubbing my arms for comfort and walking towards ethan.

"n!" he shouts and waves me over

i laugh and run over, sitting next to him.

"see that?" he questions

he points to the orange and yellow sunset and i nod.

"something you can only experience in greece. it's so much more peaceful and beautiful here."

"even better from home when we used to see the sunset's together?" i question

"that's our thing. this is just more... special in a way."

i smile and nod my head, agreeing with his statement.

he continues talking but i shut him out and stare at his long, wet hair. i play with my fingers, wanting to run my hands through them. i suddenly laugh to myself, remembering a flashback.

"what?" he laughs

"i just got a flashback."

"of what?" he turns his body towards me

"your hair."

"what about it?" he touches, worriedly

"nothing! just reminding me of the time i styled it for your date with alison." i laugh

"god! don't remind me of that. i completely embarrassed myself on that date." he tugs on his hair

"you made me come with you so i could spy and make sure nothing went wrong!"

"ya! did you remember my date before that! it went so wrong."

"you dropped the bowling ball on the poor girl's foot." i chuckle

"it's not funny! i had to pay for her procedure! and i felt bad. still do!" he argues

i laugh and stare out to the sunset, putting my arms behind my back to keep me up.

"wait. you've never been on a date n."

i freeze up once i hear ethan say those words and i clear my throat, laughing nervously.

"n-no i haven't." i stutter

"why?"

"guess, the right guy just hasn't shown up yet." i smile 

he smiles and looks up at the sunset. i stare at him and sigh sadly.

he's never going to get it, is he?

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