I Love You Black And Blue

1

Waking up on the floor again leaves me unfazed. I head to the bathroom, quietly to keep from waking Dylan up. He's asleep, an empty vodka bottle in his hand. I grab it on my way, to keep from slipping out of his hand and shattering on the floor. That's a mess I don't feel like cleaning up.

Once in the bathroom, I put the bottle on the counter then strip and take a hot shower. The water burns on my skin but it's a pain I enjoy. I examine my arms, legs, and stomach for any new bruises. There's a few, but not as many as last month. Flashbacks from the night before flash in my mind, and I have to grab the wall to keep from collapsing.
———
"Where were you?"

'Damnit...he's up..'
"Well hello to you too Dylan."

"You didn't answer my question, where were you?"

I step cautiously around empty cigarette cartons and empty beer bottles.

"I told you I was working late, then Andrew and Carly wanted to get drinks after. Not that you'd be welcome with what happened between you and Andrew."

"What'd you say?"

Oh shit.

And just like that he's up and I'm running. Racing for the bedroom. If I can just get there and lock the door I'll be safe for the night. But he gets me by my hair and drags me down. I hit the floor and my ears begin to ring from hitting my head again. Then the beating starts. The beating, the yelling, it's all the same...

I don't even feel it anymore.
———
I check myself in the mirror again once I dry off. The bruises had gotten darker, so I'll have to wear long sleeves again. Putting on the clothes I brought in with me, drying my hair, and putting on makeup, I hear Dylan wake up and roll out of bed. Literally roll, the groan after the thud confirms it.

I walk out of the bathroom and head to the kitchen, putting on some coffee and making sure I have all my things.

"Hey Alyssa..."

Stay calm.

"Morning Dylan. Coffee?"

"Yes please.." He walks up behind me and gives me a hug while I'm pouring him a cup of coffee. I cringe and coffee spills onto the counter and through my sleeve.

"Shit!"

"Alyssa! Go change I'll clean it up."

See? He can be so sweet sober, or even hungover. It's only when he drinks that he becomes a monster. The person who's here now is the one I love. He promised he'd stop drinking but that isn't happening...Walking back into the kitchen in a different shirt, I roll my sleeve up and put the burn under cool water. Dylan sees the bruises from last night and looks away.

"I'm sorry Alyssa. I know I need to stop I do..."

"It's fine. Just drop it. I'm going out with Carly today."

"Okay...will Andrew be there?"

I grab my purse, coffee, and keys and walk towards the door. "Like I'd tell you that."

"Alyssa-"

I shut the door and walk to my car.