My Kind of Angel(Destiel)

Save Everyone

Sam downed a half a bottle of water while Gabriel was inside the gas station. It had been a long drive so far. Five hours in total at this point. Sam had been concerned that it would be awkward after their kiss, but it was as if it never happened. Gabriel had found the radio to be boring, so he'd asked Sam to recommend an alternative. Sam had suggested a podcast expecting the angel to turn it down, however Gabriel had happily obliged. After about two hours they turned to car games per Gabriel's request. It started with I spy which they found to be impossible in a moving car while one of them had to concentrate on driving, so they moved to twenty questions where they learned a lot about each other. After that they shared riddles. Gabriel was very good at riddles and knew several. Next, they did tongue twisters. Sam hadn't had this much innocent fun in a long time. It almost made him forget he was trapped in a foreign reality with big issues back home.

"You mentioned eating healthy, so I got you a shakable salad. You're supposed to add the dressing to the cup and then shake it up?" Gabriel held out the large cup full of lettuce with a confused shrug.

Sam smiled, "Thanks." His heart ached. Gabriel had been paying attention during their twenty questions game.

"How's Dean and the Castiel's?" Gabriel asked, sliding into the passenger's seat once again.

"That sounds like a terrible eighties band," Sam laughed as he started the car. "They're good, I guess. They're on a hunt."

"A hunt?" Gabriel raised his brows at Sam.

"Yeah, apparently Cas and Castiel were the agents since Dean didn't have an ID. I don't know why Dean can't just sit still. Taking them on a hunt just seems like a bad idea," He sighed.

"So he's always like this?"

Sam only nodded.

"Sounds exhausting."

"He feels like he has to save everyone you know?" Sam glanced over at Gabriel.

"Do you feel that way?"

Sam frowned as he turned back to the road. "Not really. But...knowing what's out there and how to stop it...kind of makes it my job to stop it ya know? I know we can't save everyone, we barely save half of the ones we try to, but I know that if I didn't do what I do, there would be even more loss. So I try to use our wins as motivation. That one person I might save out of five, that's what I hold on to. Dean, he dwells on the other four. He counts our losses."

"Why do you think that is?" Gabriel frowned. He couldn't imagine why Dean wouldn't want to look at the good he's done.

"Our dad. He was hard on Dean. On both of us, but mostly Dean. I got out. I went to college, but Dean didn't. Dad didn't allow for mistakes."

"You went to college?" Gabriel rose a brow once again at the hunter.

Sam chuckled, "Yeah."

"For what?"

"To be a lawyer," Sam gripped the wheel tighter.

"So how'd you get dragged back into hunting?" Gabriel could see the regret all over Sam.

"Dean."

"And you don't resent him?"

"It wasn't his fault. Dad had gone missing. He asked for my help. I ran a lead with him. When I got back to school..."

"I know that look," Gabriel nodded, "You lost someone."

"My girlfriend, she was...killed by the demon that killed our mom when we were little. It was all a ploy to a bigger plan."

"I wanted to blame Dean, but it would have happened anyway. I told myself for a long time I could have saved her but...I know I couldn't have. Just like I couldn't have saved you er him," Sam brows pulled into a frown and his knuckles turned white from how hard he was gripping the wheel.

"You said he sacrificed himself?"

Sam only nodded.

"I can see why, you're clearly worth saving," Gabriel wanted to reach out to the hunter, but he feared Sam would reject it.

"I'm not. I'm just..." Sam trailed off, his head shaking.

"You help people, Sam. That's something. And you stopped the apocalypse, right? I like to think if he hadn't made that sacrifice, you wouldn't have had the chance."

Sam looked to Gabriel, a fond smile on his lips, "You're right. That's what I kept telling myself, but it doesn't make it any easier."

"Do you miss him like you miss her?" Gabriel dared ask next.

"Who?" Sam frowned.

"Your girlfriend."

"Jessica." Sam said the name with a pained tone. "Yeah. But I have more regrets when it comes to you, er him."

"Such as not telling him how you felt?" Gabriel pressed, though he already knew the answer.

Sam nodded, not trusting his voice.

"Well, I may not be him, but if he was anything like me, I'm sure he felt the same way."

"You don't even know me," Sam frowned.

"And yet still..." Gabriel gave a sympathetic smile.

Sam swallowed, turning his gaze back to the long stretch of road. "How's your side?" he asked then, desperate for a subject change.

"Maybe another hour or two and I should be good," Gabriel lifted his shirt to show the poorly stitched wound. It was less red, and the edges had closed.

Sam nodded. He would be glad to get back home he decided. Being around Gabriel was too hard for him. The familiar feelings he'd felt for the angel had crept up and they were hard to deny knowing he felt similarly.

This Gabriel might have only known him for a few days, but they'd spent more time together than he and his Gabriel had. Sam couldn't afford to get more attached. It would only hurt worse when he had to leave. He'd be left alone again.

A sudden frustration towards his brother hit him. How could Dean push both Castiel's away when it was so obvious he wanted them? At least one. When they got back home, he would still have Cas and yet Dean continued to push him away. Sam would kill to have Gabriel waiting for him back home, but that wasn't possible.

*AN*
Sorry it's been a minute. The holidays have my head spinning. Lol