If lies could be read

Seriously?

Kevin's POV

I'm obviously not going to.......

No.

I probably would.......

Nah.

I wouldn't. And why does he want one from me. He's a jock, he's basically a sex symbol yet he wants a lap dance from a guy.

I guess being drunk really does change a person completely.

"Clyde I am not giving you a lap dance"
"Of really?"
"Yes really"

He smirks and grabs my wrists.
I yelp and can't stop him from pulling me onto his lap. I'm literally face to face with him.
This is so strange.

Damn it,
Why do I have to be so weak, I literally have no muscle.

None at all.

"Now you could just sit here, that would satisfy me" he whispers.
"What?!"

"Mhmmm"
He just smiles up at me sloppily.

"I really don't understand......."
"You don't have to for now" He has this weird look on his face. That just confuses me even more.

"Oh hey Clyde and uhhhh"
Oh shit.

"Hey Tweek and Craig" Clyde waves in an over the top way while still keeping a firm grip on me.

"Kevin this is Tweek and Craig" Clyde says pointing to each one. Oh god.

One of his arms in now around my waist.

I turn my head left to face the two guys properly. I've never met them before but maybe they'll help a guy out. The one that I think is Tweek seems to immediately have some sort of sympathy for me.

"Help" I mouth to them.
The guy in green seems to catch on faster than the other one.
"Is he drunk"

I nod vigorously.

The one in blue who is obviously Craig is the first to speak to Clyde.

"Clyde buddy. You want us all to walk home together. We can help you prepare for the party"
"Can't you just go to my house yourselves"

"B-but you haven't introduced us to your new friend" Tweek says with a knowing smirk.

"Oh, you're right I haven't"

He loosens his grip so that I can sit next to him instead of on top of him.

Thank god.

"This unbelievably beautiful specimen is Kevin" he wraps an arm around my shoulders.
I can't help but be a bit startled.

"You seem very close" the taller male hints with a chuckle.

"Oh yes he smells nice and he's very comforting" Aww. I think all he wanted was a bit of care.
And to think I thought he was......

"He's got a better ass than Bebe"

Ok I take that back......

WHAT?!
I can't help but feel very objectified.
"Jesus Christ" I mutter putting my head in my hands.

Should I take that as a compliment or should I be offended?

No that wouldn't make sense.
I think it's far from true but I can't exactly see it as an insult.

"And how does Kevin feel about your admiration for him" the blonde asks noticing my discomfort.
Clyde looks at me to answer.

"Im sure he's very flattered and very confused" I answer.

"See flattered"

I roll my eyes and sigh.
When am I gonna get out of this.

"C-Cmon Clyde why don't you and Kevin walk with us to your house. Y-You need to start preparing anyway and we can help."

Clyde thinks for a moment then comes up with his answer.

"Ok" he giggles and links arms with me pulling me up from my sitting position.

When will this end?

We walk back towards Clyde's house and the blonde starts engaging in small talk.

"So are you new to South Park?"
"Yeah I just moved here from north park so not to far"
"Do you by any chance have a twin sister?" He asks.

"Yep I'm assuming you've met her."
"She's in my science set she's smart"
"Esther has always had a thing for science. Can't say the same for me"

"What are you majoring in?" Clyde speaks up after a few moments of silence.
"Art and design"

Finally we're here.
I'm so bad at small talk.
I hope I don't seem like a weirdo.

"Kevin can you try to sober up Clyde. We can sort out everything else"
"What do you mean I'm......" oh he fainted.

Tweek and Craig just laugh.
Well I could leave him like this or I could wake him up.
"We shouldn't leave him like this." I chuckle.
I make my way to the kitchen and look for the substance I need.

Aha.

Hot sauce.

I put some on a teaspoon and carry it carefully into the living room.
"What's that?" Craig asks.
"Wait and see"

I crouch down next to Clyde and basically shove the spoon in his mouth.
He's gonna kill me.
Almost instantly his eyes snap open.
He gets up and runs to the kitchen shouting things like 'Shit' 'crap' 'fuck'.

Tweek, Craig and I laugh at the sight.
"Hot sauce?" Tweek laughs.
"Yep" we all continue to laugh at Clyde's distress.

"Ok I'll sober him up now"

I once again go to the kitchen to find some water.
This is gonna take some time.

"I'm sober" Clyde whines.
"Ok buddy ok" of course he's not.

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